We are at the stage of trying to decide how to split assets and who should move out of the house. My solicitor has told me that we should go to Financial mediation before anything else can happen but my wife says that we can discuss and sort the finances ourselves. Please could anyone tell me which is correct ?
The solicitor is advising the best route, that said you don`t need a mediator if you are both honest about finances and reasonable with the division, my wife and i made our own agreement and then had it drafted by the wiki solicitor as a Consent Order, if you do make an agreement it is wise to run it by a solicitor though.
If you and your wife can sort this out between you it will be cheaper and less antagonistic. If you can't, mediation is cheaper and less antagonistic than using lawyers and barristers to argue about it.
She may earn more than you but whether her pension is worth more only you can know.
It is best to come to an amicable solution; there are no hard and fast rules.
Stick out for a share of the unpredictable and you will both loose out. Far better to come to an amicalbe solution via mediation. Which ever way you look at it going via the courts is litigation - and totally ghastly - speak to and reflect upon the many examples here on wiki if you want evidence of that.
Nothing better than an olive branch. Reflect upon that if you can. Remember - act in haste and repent at leisure.........
Labcoat, much will depend on the complexity of your assets and, for example, if you are proposing a Clean Break or if spouse maintenance will be paid.
As a mediator, I have a vested interest in saying this, but I would recommend that you do go and see a mediator. There may be points or options that you haven't considered which the mediator can bring to you attention.
If spouse maintenance is to be paid, is it for life or when will it stop - after a period, or on re-marriage or on co-habitation? If the last, when is co-habitation deemed to be taking place - when the person moves in or stays 3 nights a week or five nights?
Is the pension to be divided between you? If so, is this going to be by means of pension sharing or a pension splitting order? Do you know the difference?
If the two of you a pretty much in agreement, the mediation should be quick and easy - and cheap. Even if you are not in agreement, I would still seriously recommend it as this route to financial separation has many advantages over the traditional route to divorce.