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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


wish me luck ...i need it....

  • class
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05 Nov 11 #296324 by class
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Hope you feeling better soon, let us know how you got on when you are xx

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05 Nov 11 #296385 by soobee
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hi puffy eyes going down...heres what happened talked about house he dosent want me to have it said i couldnt afford to buy him out..mediator said we could offset other assests agaisnt this...nope he didnt want that ...nor does he want me to have SM said he wasnt going to give it to me..mediator said that he didnt have a choice unless he made one off payment...he dosent want me to touch any of his earnings again mediator told him all money and assests put into the pot...he wasnt happy...he dosent want me to touch pension..mediator told him im intitled to 50%..again not happy...i got his bank statements his spent hundreds on gf....talked bout mort that im still paying(this is coz i dont want him to have gf up to stay at house...this was agreed months ago by us both )mediator asked if there was a chance for us to get bk together neither of us answered this?????the whole session was very draining hoped it would be last one ..but no ,another one booked for next month::S...when we were leaving his words were "well that put the cat amonst the pigeons"oh marias staying up this weekend....felt like i had just been smacked in the stomach....cried all the way home and most of the evening....not sure which way to turn..have made appt to see my solicitor on tues to see what she thinks...gona stop mort payment as hes broken our agreement..and more importantly taken my time that i spent with my kids away from me as i always spend the weekend with them.....i have not been anything except fair from day one but what good has it done me...answer...none.......

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05 Nov 11 #296403 by Nanny18
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Hi soobee, Sorry it didn,t go well.
From what you have said it sounds like another session would be a waste of time, he seems to think he can get away with this behaviour. I don,t know anything about mediation having not gone through it yet but i would think you would be better off in front of a judge. Robinson said a lot of what they had agreed at mediation didn't happen and it sounds like your H could change his mind as well.
Your marriage was a long one so you are entitled to something, so you have to keep fighting him. I certainly wouldn't be paying the mortgage anymore.
Big Hugs Nanny

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05 Nov 11 #296412 by Lostboy67
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Hi
Just out of interest where do the children spend most of their time and what are their ages.
I suspect that your s2bx may get a big dose of reality, he really should think a little more about taking such a hard line.
Your housing need is going to be for at least a 2 bed property, probably 3 bed depending on children's ages. Your s2bx has good mortgage raising possibilities where as you on your current income are in a lesser position. You might have a good argument for more than 50% of his pension because he is in a position where he could build up his pension again where you are not.
His income is very much more than yours so you might have a good claim for SM. See what you solicitor has to say, but if you want to send fur flying in the next mediation session you could suggest 70:30 split of everything + SM. He doesn't seem to want to find an amicable settlement, so perhaps its time to toughen up and take a much harder negotiating position.


LB

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06 Nov 11 #296428 by soobee
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hi thanks for replies my kids all over 21yrs and live in the family home..and yes will take your advice and suggest 70:30 split nxt time....if my solicitor doesnt pull me out of mediation....today i feel alittle better and think he is being the way he is ..in the hope that i will give in and therefore he would get what he wants.....think he got bit of a shock coming..thanks to all your support and my close friends.i have the strenght to fight for what i want and need..will keep you posted with what my solicitor advises on tuesday...Big thank you to all my wiki friends ....

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06 Nov 11 #296457 by MrsMathsisfun
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So do you hope to move back into the family home/ buy a different home with the children?

As the children are over 21, a court might decided that neither of you ''need'' to provide a home for them so the split of the house will depend on your potential mortgage capability.

I dont think a court would say you should have more of the pension because he can rebuild his. You would only get a larger share if that was what was needed to equalise income at retirement based on the size of the pot now.

I think you would have more sucess if you asked for a 70/30 split on the house, 50/50 pension/other assets and possible sm to equalise the difference between your incomes.

Dont think you can expect 70/30 split of everything and sm.

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06 Nov 11 #296475 by soobee
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i agree that 70/30 split on everything too much ...and dont expect to get it...but bear in mind i have been paying over 60% of my wages to the mort and hes been more than happy for me to do so.....yes i would in an ideal world move bk into FH with the kids who are all over 21yrs...mediator already imformed him that the courts will not count them as they all independant aldults...im more than happy to offset other assest against his share of the house ...but he dosent want to do this..mediator did say that the most possible outcome would be that we would have to sell the house and split the equity.....

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