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  • dormouse
  • dormouse's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
13 Feb 12 #311976 by dormouse
Topic started by dormouse
Dreading going to mediation and dreading going him refusing to go to mediation. How can I get what I need from him and will the mediator be able to suggest a way forward?

Surely they won''t encourage him to stay in a three bedroom property on his own, when my name''s on the mortgage and there''s no equity?
And not paying the CSA for a year or seeing the kids has to look bad...but somehow, I just know that he will come up smelling of roses...and I am so scared of him...

Please tell me it will all be ok...

  • livinginhope
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  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
13 Feb 12 #311983 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
I haven''t used mediation services and can understand why you are so reluctant to face your husband if he has been a bully towards you but I''m sure Mediators must be trained to cope with such situations.If possible try and think of the Mediation as a means to bringing the conflict to an end so that you can be free to get on with your life.Try and envisage a good outcome and believe it will happen.Having a Mediator present should stop matters escalating into an unpleasant situation.You will not be facing him alone.You will be ok.
Good luck xxxx

  • survive
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13 Feb 12 #312021 by survive
Reply from survive

I really ca empathise with you. I went to mediation at the start of my divorce and felt exactly like you did. On a positive note, the mediator will usually have ameeting with each of you separately first and tell what is involved and what you are required to bring.
You will then have a meeting together jointly with the mediator. A mediator is not legally trained and they can''t order you inti doing anything. Don''t let them ''bully'' you into anything, as I experienced at mine. If they are truly professional they should remain completely unbiased.
I will add that mediation will only work if both parties are honest!!!!! And bring all the documents required of them. The mediator won''t let it beome a ''slanging'' match.
If you feel that you and your stbx can negioate civillay then this would be a good option, and a whole lot cheaper than using solicitors.

I hope for your sake you can, and wish you luck.
PM me if you would like any more details


  • dormouse
  • dormouse's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
13 Feb 12 #312081 by dormouse
Reply from dormouse
Thanks Survive! He has not come back with an agreed date yet, so he might not go. Eww....this is going to be horrid. I may PM later in the week, if that''s ok.

Dormouse x

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