I can''t believe it, but it worked! I went to mediation armed with facts and figures and he gave in. We have agreed the finances and the access and it appears to be all over. We sign the paperwork next Wednesday!
The advice I have got from here has saved my sanity: I can''t thank you all enough.
Brilliant news.Can I ask did you only have one mediation session and were you both in the same room?
Also did the Mediator concentrate on what would be the likely outcome if matters went to Court ,or was a different method used?
I''m thinking it might be something I will have to do but I''m quite frightened by the thought.
I think it worked in one session because I have been asking questions on here and receiving lots of help.
In answer to livinginhope, I think that the neutrality of the mediator helped. It stopped me thinking -well he was abusive and work-shy therefore you are going to be on my side -instead I went with a smile and focussed on the positives (I was terrified).
I was also reasonably nice to the ex which allowed him to save face. From here I had to bargain (thanks DavyC, Patrick and Young Again for this).
Just to say Action, you were such a comfort and I guess that even though I know he was brutal to me, I had to be bigger.
I have no cash out of this, but I do have a fresh start and a Clean Break, which is really what I went in for. At the end of the day, I just wanted it all to stop.
mediation with just the two of you and a mediator you don''t know is terrifying, but it is still not as bad (or as expensive) as court.
I may be delirious now, so please forgive me.