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Mediation alone?

  • k2k2
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19 Mar 12 #318988 by k2k2
Topic started by k2k2
My stbx''s solicitor advised her to attend mediation. I was contacted by the mediator, my stbx''s solicitor recommended, to arrange an appointment. I replied but got no response. I have now been told that our case must go to court. It turns out that my stbx went to the mediation assessment meeting on her own and as a result the mediators told her they could not help.

I beleieve we both have to attend mediation together prior to the courts looking at our case or am I wrong here?

Why would a mediator say they can''t help? We have completed full and frank disclosures but my wife has not returned answers to my statement of issues.

Confused.......

  • livinginhope
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19 Mar 12 #318992 by livinginhope
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One explanation could be that your STBX made it clear she is unwilling to negotiate in which case Mediation would be a non starter.

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19 Mar 12 #318998 by WhiteRose
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Hi K2K2,

The initial mediation assessment session is usually alone with one of the parties.

The mediators may say mediation isn''t recommended for a number of reasons, one is if there is a history of violence, another is if one person refuses to negotiate or compromise.

Mediation can only work where both parties are willing to discuss, negotiate and give a little, meet in the middle etc. to reach a mutually acceptable agreement.

Unfortunately Court ends up more costly (emotionally and financially) as no doubt you''re aware.

Have a look at this link:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Mediation/Medi...luding-form-FM1.html

WR x

  • k2k2
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19 Mar 12 #319002 by k2k2
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If my stbx''s sol advised it then why would my stbx not tell her sol she''s not interested rather than attend a mediation meeting alone?

I have tried in vain to make any suggestions possible to keep this away from courts. I haven''t even had any indication/ suggestion of a division of assets from my ex. If they don''t ask me then how do they know how I will respond? My ex''s sol contacted me and told me they need my form E so they can advise my stbx on a split of assets. I''ve given all the info required and had nothing in return.

After a year of almost nothing other than my ex attempting to hide details and fob me off I feel like giving her everything and just emmigrating. Only my son keeps me in the Uk now.

Frustrated......

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19 Mar 12 #319003 by WhiteRose
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I think its compulsory to attend a mediation session - this was introduced to try and avoid the situation you describe. :(

You can lead a horse to water ................

WR

  • tigger64
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29 Mar 12 #320740 by tigger64
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This has just happened to me, I found out yesterday that my stbx husband attended mediation, how I asked? without me!! My solicitor is yet to get back to me but I thought we both had to attend to mediate?

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