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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


How long?

  • joy
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10 Jul 08 #31937 by joy
Topic started by joy
Hi

My OH solicitors are making demands and i am replying, Are we 'mediating'? Will the sol try to get a solution or will he tell OH, to go straight for AR? Is it in his best interest to
keep talking first, if he goes straight to court without finding a settlement, we separated without a Clean Break order. Just thinking whether the sol would encourage him to court! This split happend months ago.

Joy

  • mike62
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10 Jul 08 #31942 by mike62
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Joy,
When you say 'split', do you mean separation, or the issuing of actual divorce proceedings? Or is your divorce complete with a Decree Absolute?

mediation is more of a 'round table' discussion with a trained mediator (often a paralegal or solicitor) where both parties discuss the finances and agree between themselves a reasonable split of the finances. The mediator is there as a 'referee' who will suggest whether proposals are fair and reasonable, and will keep the discussion focussed on the financial (and / or childcare) issues, without allowing too much emotion to creep in.

Your negotiation with your husband (ex?) through his solicitor is a bit one sided. Your OH's solicitor is going to attempt to get the best deal for his client, and will charge your OH individually for every letter, e-mail, phone call etc. It is in the solicitors interest to keep the thing going as long as possible, as he can continue to charge fees.

A better solution would be to find your local mediation service, either through the yellow pages or your local Relate service. Doing it that way, you are only paying an hourly rate - mine cost £65 each per hour, but what is acheived in one hour of mediation is far greater than several solicitors letters.

Typically, you would expect to reach an agreement within 3-4 sessions, but may take longer.

There is a good post on mediation - link below:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...rough-mediation.html

Hope it helps,

Mike

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10 Jul 08 #31949 by joy
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Hi

Thanks Mike, we have the nisi only. So it probably be in the sols interest to keep negotiating, rather than go straight for the court option.

Joy

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10 Jul 08 #31950 by mike62
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Yes it would, but that is all adding to the cost all the time. Each letter, each phone call etc etc is coming out of the marital asset pot. He is going to offset that aginst something else. You are better to get to a point of agreement quickly than spinning it out. Only the solicitor is gaining here.

Mike

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