My ex and I are thinking of going to the family mediators to help us to agree our financial settlement for our divorce. Has anyone any experience in doing it this way? (and avoiding involving solicitors at that stage). And how useful did they find the help/support/advice given by the mediators?
Although you are trying to avoid solicitors (!) I have found that clients of mine that have attended mediation have often been able to achieve an agreement that they are far more comfortable with than something that is imposed by the Court. I have also found that reaching an agreement through mediators often means there is less animosity between the parties also.
Thanks for that - and no offence intended to any solicitors on this site! We''re short of cash, short of time, wanting to get on with our lives and move up and on as quickly as possible. Maybe ''avoiding solicitors'' (apologise again for my turn of phrase, have only just read it and realised how badly that comes across!) may not be the best way forward, is what I''m thinking in posing that question.
In my defence, I''ve never done this before! No excuse really though. Apologies.
We''re thinking of divorcing through wiki and want to sort out the financial agreement through the mediators. So, I would appreciate some advice on behalf of us both on the financial agreement and how it might look for us - we would like to draft something between us to take to the mediators.
My situation is:
Me living in FH with two kids - 14 and 16 years old. Quite bright, will possibly probably want to go to university.
He has a flat across town with some space for the kids to stay if they want to.
They see him routinely twice a week for the evening, then also when they feel like it. He''s only a short cycle ride away for them. We do not fight over access rights or seeing the children. Anyway they''re too old for that. They make their own decisions about who and when they want to see someone now! Having said that, I think they like having two evenings a week when they know they will definitely spend time with him.
He works full time. I work part time. He earns roughly double what I do.
We own the house. Still have about 90k mortgage left to pay. Zoopla says it''s worth 550k. We have two endowment policies too, that were under performing, so we topped up our repayment mortgage to ensure we could make up the shortfall in the long term. They are collectively worth 45k - the first worth 30k matures later on this year and the second in 3 years time. They will probably end up yielding closer to 30k together.
We have been married 17 years, together 29 years. Both in good health (well my head''s a bit messed up by all this!). I''m 49 years old and he''s 48 years old.
We''re reasonably amicable. As amicable as divorcing couples can get, anyway. Put it this way, we are perfectly capable of sitting down over coffee together and agreeing divorce arrangements and money.
He''s contributing towards the mortgage and our living expenses. These amounts were agreed through the mediators about 1 month after we separated. He''s been paying what was agreed ever since. Any pay rises/bonuses/windfalls since then have been discussed and split equally between us.
He has a pension - not final salary, the other one. It''s worth about 200K. Mine''s not final salary either, it''s worth about 40k.
I will be very likely be made redundant in the autumn this year so will lose that source in income. I may get a job, but who knows in the current climate!
Any advice on the ins and outs of agreeing finances based on our respective situations would be gratefully received.