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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


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22 Mar 12 #319547 by blonde cazza
Topic started by blonde cazza
My ex and i were due to be going to mediation next week to sort out finance issues and chld contact.
I had a call from the mediator today to say that my ex had phoned and said that he thought mediation would help but didnt have enough dispossable income...
The mediator said to me that he will have to pay solicitors fees that are much more expensive hence why you go to mediation.
What are my options now...do i go to court to sort finances...and stop child contact til its all sorted out....help!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Emma8485
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22 Mar 12 #319605 by Emma8485
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Court for finances can be expensive, unless he intends to self represent?

I dont understand why you would stop contact until its sorted out? If I remember rightly doesnt your son spend every Friday and saturday with his dad?

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22 Mar 12 #319609 by Lostboy67
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Hi
You certainly should not stop contact. Using contact as a form of blackmail in this way is very wrong.

Try to establish what direction your ex wishes to go with regard to agreeing financial and child care issues.

LB

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23 Mar 12 #319705 by blonde cazza
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yes he spends evey friday/sat with him.I have had alot of problems with my ex re our son and my solicitor said i could bring them up in mediation....but he has used no disposable income excuse not to go...Ive tried to suggest that he re thinks mediation but as of yet no reply to my text...ive asked if he would provide full disclosure of finances to my sol again no reply...My son alsoattends speech thearpy for a stammer which his speech thearipist has suggested the way his dad is behaving isnt helping him.

  • Emma8485
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23 Mar 12 #319708 by Emma8485
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Hi Cazza, to step back and look at this impartially:

You were due to attend mediation - does your ex believe this is for finances only, or is he aware that this is also for contact? The two should be seerated totally from each other in my view.

Have you continued to send your son for contact but have raised the issues with your ex - I know you had some issues previously about him going out etc?

My partners daughter has speech therapy classes too - what does the speech therapist is impacting your son? i.e. what behaviour do they know about, where from and in what way does it affect him?

From experience, going down the route of blocking contact will not help your case in any way. If you believe that there is a definite risk, issues that may harm your son etc then take some advice either from a solicitor or elsewhere perhaps, and put it to your ex formally, but dont stop contact.

Take Care

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23 Mar 12 #319715 by blonde cazza
Reply from blonde cazza
Hi Emma,
Yes my ex was aware that this was for both.
I have continued to send my son for contact and yes the issues were raised through solictors but there continues to be problems hence why he thought mediation would be a good idea.
When my on first started speech therapy....i was asked to give a background history...she said the fact his dad went and didnt explain to him everything and not helped and the worry of it all isnt helping..
I also have a daughter who has bulliema who vision of everything is blurred...she badmouths me to her brother questions him and even runs my parents down who have passed away....i dont want my son to be mantipulated lke this ether and it isnt fair on him at all..my daughter has also read divorce paperwork which she relays back to her brother...
I dont want to stop contact but im not sure how i deal with his one because all the worry and pressure isnt fair on my son.

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