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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Mediation Help

  • PhoebeBlue
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13 May 12 #330233 by PhoebeBlue
Topic started by PhoebeBlue
My husband and I are due to go to our second meeting soon (initiated by him following his first hefty bill from his solicitor). Our first meeting in Feb. was a disaster.

We''ve agreed that I will stay in the family home with the children, but he wants 50% of the value. He also wants our children to live with him 50% of the time (at 11 & 8yrs).

I''ve suggested every other weekend and once a week and 50% of the school holidays.

I also worked part-time for 7yrs and went back to work full-time last Sept. Therefore, I will not have the same pension benefits.

Any ideas / advice please?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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13 May 12 #330240 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
In order to help more would you mind answering some questions.

How much is the mortgage / equity in house.

Can you afford to take on the mortgage, would you be able to buy him out. If so what % could you offer or would you be needing a mesher order?

What are your relative incomes.

How old are you both.

How much is his pension worth and what type is it.

How long have you be married?

Why dont you want 50/50 shared care?

When you say alternate weekends what do you mean

Friday after school - monday morning

or just saturday night?

How about suggesting midweek contact on a Thursday and alternate weekends Thursday - Monday morning. (Thats nearer a 1/3 of the time)

  • Imediate
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13 May 12 #330277 by Imediate
Reply from Imediate
Any ideas / advice ? Yes - keep seeing your mediator (and if you don''t like what he is or isn''t doing, switch to another), be open minded, listen to the other side''s point of view, and be prepared to compromise - and insist that the other side does the same.

Whilst the answers to the questions above would help to fill in some of the information gaps, there are other factors that would need to be taken into account.

It is impossible to give advice that is actually useful unless one knows the whole picture and both sides'' views. To base settlement advice on partial information, which no doubt is well meant, can be misleading and give you unrealistic expectations.

I hope it works for you.

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