Am about to start divorce proceedings then financial proceedings in England, but have already been through three years of trying to reach a financial agreement in Scotland. STBX and I have spent some of those three years negotiating directly (which I can prove by emails), and some time with our respective solicitors negotiating. Direct negotiations resumed this spring but broke down again recently, and STBX and I are no longer in communication.
I really do not relish delaying the financial order by having to start again using Mediators. As far as I''m concerned, we''ve already been there, done that. Can I convince the court that the last three years'' correspondence shows that we have already tried to "mediate" without success?
I''m wary of going to the MIAM alone and them writing to STBX to offer mediation, I think he''d take up the offer because (1) it would delay things even longer (which would fit into his game plan of winding me up for as long as possible) and (2) he''d get the opportunity to see me, rant at me, be abusive, and generally make me feel like dirt.
eta. The single contentious issue is sale & division of the FMH.
I don''t think you will be able to do this. I was in a similar situation but just had to bear the cost, I think it was about £100. It did seem a complete waste as the mediator very quickly confirmed my case was not suitable for mediation which I already knew!!!
I think I shall opt to complete form FM1 myself, in particular Option 4 "The applicant has not complied with the Pre-application Protocol and has not attended a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting for the following reason" and then detail the lengthy negotiations that have already taken place between me & STBX and our respective solicitors.
The worst the court could do presumably is reject that reason and insist on me then attending a MIAM, so nothing lost.
We are at the stage where we are waiting for a date for final hearing, I offered mediation last year but it was ignored by stbx so it was never mentioned again and we have now gone through first appointment and FDR and the Judge has never mentioned it.
Mediation would never have worked in my case as we are so far apart in our thoughts of how to settle the financials but apart from me offering it and stbx ignoring that offer, mediation has never been mentioned again