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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Can I bypass mediation?

  • SilverFir
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13 May 12 #330268 by SilverFir
Topic started by SilverFir
Bear with me, I have good reason for doing so!

Am about to start divorce proceedings then financial proceedings in England, but have already been through three years of trying to reach a financial agreement in Scotland. STBX and I have spent some of those three years negotiating directly (which I can prove by emails), and some time with our respective solicitors negotiating. Direct negotiations resumed this spring but broke down again recently, and STBX and I are no longer in communication.

I really do not relish delaying the financial order by having to start again using Mediators. As far as I''m concerned, we''ve already been there, done that. Can I convince the court that the last three years'' correspondence shows that we have already tried to "mediate" without success?

I''m wary of going to the MIAM alone and them writing to STBX to offer mediation, I think he''d take up the offer because (1) it would delay things even longer (which would fit into his game plan of winding me up for as long as possible) and (2) he''d get the opportunity to see me, rant at me, be abusive, and generally make me feel like dirt.

eta. The single contentious issue is sale & division of the FMH.

  • maisymoos
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13 May 12 #330270 by maisymoos
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You do not need to attend mediation but do need to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting and you will need to submit an FM1 form to the court which confirms you took this step.

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14 May 12 #330527 by SilverFir
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Another question ...

Can I claim any of the costs of the MIAM (or heaven forbid, actual mediation!) from my STBX as part of the financial order?

(Having already had three years of solicitor negotiation in Scotland, I''m annoyed that I have to go for a mediation session in England before commencing financial action!)

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15 May 12 #330609 by maisymoos
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I don''t think you will be able to do this. I was in a similar situation but just had to bear the cost, I think it was about £100. It did seem a complete waste as the mediator very quickly confirmed my case was not suitable for mediation which I already knew!!!

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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15 May 12 #330644 by NoWhereToTurnl
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My ex H refused mediation, my solicitor then received a letter stating the case was not suitable for mediation and that was the end of it.

Our hearings were in England, I was not charged anything for mediation and ex did not get into trouble at the hearing.

If he is abusive to you and using it as delaying tactics, you could state that as your reason for not going through it again, also back up with your proof (emails etc.) that you have already tried.

Best of luck.

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15 May 12 #330756 by SilverFir
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I think I shall opt to complete form FM1 myself, in particular Option 4 "The applicant has not complied with the Pre-application Protocol and has not attended a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting for the following reason" and then detail the lengthy negotiations that have already taken place between me & STBX and our respective solicitors.

The worst the court could do presumably is reject that reason and insist on me then attending a MIAM, so nothing lost.

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16 May 12 #330805 by epitome title
Reply from epitome title
We are at the stage where we are waiting for a date for final hearing, I offered mediation last year but it was ignored by stbx so it was never mentioned again and we have now gone through first appointment and FDR and the Judge has never mentioned it.

Mediation would never have worked in my case as we are so far apart in our thoughts of how to settle the financials but apart from me offering it and stbx ignoring that offer, mediation has never been mentioned again

Kind regards

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