HELP I have just got my date for mediation.
I posted in then divorce section then found this.
my ex is going to reduce me to rubble as he has done for the last 25 years.
I dont know where to start.
married 25 yrs
own home outright
1 daughter age 16 1/2
he wants a 60/40 split as daughter going to stop with him. But only as he buys her.
nasty controling man
I am his 3rd wife
we live in same house
divorced over a year
he is 69 yrs and I am 52years old
he agreed a 50/50 split Clean Break then changed his mind, his motto is
dont get mad get even , and he is good at it, and Principals dont hold ya breath.
I am so depressed and I cant see a way forward HELP please,
The mediator should help you to gather all your financial information in order for you to each see what is a reasonable settlement. The mediator is unlikely to allow you to be bullied. Try to think of it as negotiating a pay rise and keep it business-like. Try not to get distracted with emotional stuff. I know it''s hard to do as I have already been through it but I did get stronger at each session. Collect together as much of your financial information as you can as it will save time and money. I created 3 ring binders (one for him, one for me and one for Mediator) and it helped to create a professional and ordered impression. Also try to find out what house you could buy with 40% of the equity of the house and whether you can get a mortgage. Will the equity from the house buy a two bedroomed home for each of you? Can you support yourself financially / do you work? Have you looked into your pensions and got vlauations for those?
The experts on here will need more information about earning potential and other assets before they will be able to advise what is a fair split.
I have got all the information with regards to my financial situation. I work p/time and my annual salary is £4146.00 per annum. and some monies in the bank.
I could only buy if it is a 50/50 split,I Have no pension set up, he has a private one due next year when he is 70 and all his benefits,
I can bearly support myself at the moment and he is pressing for child support and for me to pay to live in my own home, my solicitor told me not to pay him as it is my own home. and told him to go to csa.
He has told me over the years that he will see me out on the street as a bag lady he is very plauseable and calm, but in private a nasty bit of work and covers his tracks very carefully. I am unfortunately going through the menopause and i am an emotional wreck at the best of times.
He is a very clever man and he knows me inside out and has controlled my life for 25 years and what i thought was caring was control. I dont have any confidence as he has knocked the very being out of me and i still find myself feeling guilty and unable to even shop for food as he always did everything. I feel like I am 5 instead of 52,
I just want and have always wanted what was fair, I did put 24thousand of my council discount into the property to enable us both to be where we are now.
Thanks so much for your quick reply
Just me Kim