Thanks Dukey, and my what a lot of replies you have made to people! Clearly you are the Big Daddy on here! Anwyay,on behalf of everyone you have helped - and have read hundreds of posts on here in the last few days - thanks!
Re my need for an FM1. I do need to get financial settlement. I am going for AR, including MPS. I earn 6000pc ANNUM, he is on 5000 pcMONTH I can''t afford a sol, and do not qualify for legal aid, since not caliming benefits and live off my meagre earnings and tenants rents.
Married 5 years, cohabited 3 years before. No children. Maintained our own homes throughout, though I class MH as the last time we lived in his house. Now he is after mine? After destroying me emotionally, now thinks he has some right to the equity in this. I think not! sadly just his usual bullying tactics to an already fragile lady and if he puts a restriction on my house, I will eventually be informed by LR, and do the same to all his 3 properties, since have vested interest as his wife.
Thing is, already remortgaged them all, on interest m/g only - smart cookie and not got much equity in them - i left it too long between sep and petitioning. Disposal of assets - I replied to someone else about this....
me, on other hand, struggle to maintain m/g on my own property and now he wants to come and discuss what I Owe HIM? a) never ever want to see him ever agian but know I am going to have to at the FDR and FH,,,, this is going to go all the way, for sadly I married a master manipulator... b) thankfully, due to the good people on here and having got clued up for free, I know he can''t touch me, and due to his behaviour, no DJ would even consider putting my massive equity into the marital pot. or that is what I like to think. |I think the years of his lies, deceit - he even bought a prop without even telling me- will go in my favour.
At the mo, Dukey - that sounds so impersonal to somoene who has written 9000 odd posts - shall I call you Mr Dukey? - lol! But at the mo, I have finally gort my answere I have called so many mediators, and none could tell me what you did in just a few mins. Thank you so much.
I need to press on with this, whilst I am feeling up beat and positve and lost far too much time as it is.... disposing of his assets as I speak, no doubt.
Ok, so just to summarise, not for me, but anyone else who may skip my stuff but see the highlighted words - I can''t put Petition in now, without an FM1 - though for those of you with recent incidences of DV, can, 6 months, I think since last incident or valid police reasons. or ongoing criminal case/civil case. Just to help: there must be many middle aged ladies out there, still living the fear of a text/email from him, in itself a form of harrassment, and for those fortunate enough to have monetary disposal, you can get an non-molestation order or anti-harrassment order. I''d like one too, but don''t think there are 2 for the price of 1 offers going here...LOL!
Can''t afford it. I haven''t seen my ex for at least a year, though seperated way before. As I did post on other topic, and forgive me for my PC numptiness, I am just learning my way here, in my experience, don;t let things drag....
This new protocal only came into effect April last year ie need for mediation. I''d been atacked by him in the last incident of DV only a few months before. Those women with this sort of DV prob, don''t delay..... no point... I have lived in fear of this man I used to totally adore, for years since I finally left.
They can still ''get to you'' latest offering was that apparently he drove past me and said I looked very wrinkled. Apparently, being the operative word, beign the liar and manipulative man he still is, even though I took nothing, but a broken heart away with me. Now he thinks he can get his hands on my money - I have none - all wrapped up in the house - MY house , his not on Title - and I can''t even remortgage to pay for legal costs.
Tried, for those of you who know how hard it is to sit there crying, knowing what the outcome will be. (and soooo embarrassing - poor boy, only in his 20''s faced with this desperate lady who couldn''t hold it all together enough. it wass the fact he didn''t even know what I was taling about!
he didn''t even know anything about the subject - how to raise cash for what will be a successful divorce for me. Him on 5000pcm, me on 6000 a year. tehre is a legal name for this sort of arrangement that those of you who can find a bank chap/lady ... going off to cry again. back later.
Me again... I see how this works now, I must have popped into people''s posts midway. Sorry about that, complete PC numpty, not aided by fact I am paranoid I am a bit of a talker and just by my chat and facts I have volunteered, know this will be the first place he comes to. I think I need to be a bit more vigilant!
Also whilst typing a long answer to someone I could offer decent knowledge to - I got timed out.... just finding my way round here and do forgive me if I have popped up - and for any new newbies or guests- you have to get to the end of the series of numbers at bottom of page to reply as newest answer.
Apologies again in my 9 posts so far and I don''t know if my replies to these are recorded, but I have tried to help those with very basic questions.
I know now to get to the end, before proferring my 2 tuppence worth..
I am not legally trained, well am, but not in Family Law and never practised anyway. Went into a different career as soon as I did a bog standard degree, all those very many years ago. I am quite old now. My comments are only given on what I have ingested through coming on here and reading. The Law is a constantly changing anyway, but thanks to this fantastic site, I have boned up, by just reading.....
Knowledge is power, is it not? And how do I put this statement on my profile? So I
don''t have to keep saying it all the time?
Anyone? Forget that, i really wouln''t know how to do it anyway even if you sent me detailed instructions.... useless with PCs at my age.
This site is fantastic though. I am going to be on it for a very long time! When my own nightmare of an impending divorce is over, I am going to still be on here, offering more solid advice when my own rather tricky one is over, but having said that, they are all tricky. All I am faced with is a bully Been unfaithful many many times, DV, and now thanks to Mr Dukey, I found the answer to a question I made at least 13 calls to meditors for, ''just like that'' as Tommy Cooper ( comedian in the 70''s) used to say.
Thanks Dukey . Just that one sussinct answer shows me necessary to get this FM1 form done befoe presenting Ct with a Petition.. Ok. means I have to contact that man, TM for short henceforth. My fault, I left it just that year and a few months too long before sep and presenting a petition.
But as for you out there, reading, keep your chins up. ok? Life will get easier - you''ll be able to buy nice food, go out again.... me, on a budget drive to pay for this mediation session that thanks to Mr Dukey, I know know I have to go to since am going to do a AR least for MPS - but apply for all- complete novices - on form D8Will only cost you more on court fees if you dont - courtesy of knowledge gained via lovely people on here!
Just realised I have been sat on here for hours now, and since unable to eat much these days, now I am doing it - the divorce - realised I am starving.
So off now. Thanks again to Mr Dukey, who told me in a min, what it had taken phone bill and exasperation to find out and even meant to be trained up medaitors, didn''t know what is actually a basic answer but hey they are a business, so hey ho. Sadly for me, going to have to go to mediation now, and will be getting on phone to the best one ( on mediators website on here, ok?
Dread it, but thought this would be the outcome when I read about the new protocal..
Thanks s much Mr Dukey for confirming what I spent hours on the web and hours on here, confimring. I do hope others get use of this and I should put this on new post - I just don''t know how to do.
In future though will post on more relevant ''topics''.
Ok, got to go now - be back later over the weekend for a natter and a catch up/ You all take care now and be as happy as you can.
Sep agreements are not legally binding, they do provide a strong indication of what should happen providing disclosure was made you both sought legal advice and it was written by a solicitor, even then if circumstances have changed over time the sep agreement may fail, they are though much much better than having nothing at all.