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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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Mediation -

  • AwaitingDivorce
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16 Sep 12 #356217 by AwaitingDivorce
Topic started by AwaitingDivorce
I''ve been asked if i will go to mediation, they tell me it should take 3 1.5hour session - but these are to be done indivually - can some please explain further...

Do we each go in and tell them exactly what we want about everything or do you discuss the children one day, the house the next etc etc

  • minxy1912
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17 Sep 12 #356400 by minxy1912
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i would go prepared for all eventuality''s, but think they will deal with one at a time.

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17 Sep 12 #356406 by WhiteRose
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From what I understand there is an initial appointment with each party individually where each of you discuss with the mediator what the situation is and then you have joint meetings. I think sometimes they offer individual sessions, but this may take even longer - I think its better if both parties can face each other and deal with things.

Its strange they put a time scale on it, as some people have a couple of appointments and some need more to reach an agreement. But I''m also aware different Mediator Centres work differently.

My advice would be to remain calm, the most positive thing is going in being prepared to discuss everything honestly and openly.

Each party obviously has a ''wish list'' of things they would like to get out of the negotiations, but each party may need to give on some aspects.

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17 Sep 12 #356416 by Soon Free
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I attended mediation a month ago. The other party declined their invitation. The mediator talks generally about whether you would be prepared to mediate in the same room as the other party or not. You don''t have to and separately is ok too. Took about 3/4 of an hour then they sent a letter to my brief to confirm attendance. Nothing to worry about at all.

  • leanng
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17 Sep 12 #356429 by leanng
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i went to mediation last year. both of us had individual appointments each. they basically wanted to know situation and what you wanted to mediate about and then tell you what you need for joint appointment i.e. all financial docs etc...

The joint appointment started off with the mediator bascially telling both parties grounds rules i.e. let each other speak, listen to each other...

She then asked who would like to start... and then the fun began...my ex basically verbally attacked me, wouldn''t / couldn''t keep his cool..walked out..came back after 10 to 15 mins... started again, refused to let me speak.. In the end the mediator told my ex that she could not deal with him and told him to seek a solicitor. She was extremely professional.. told me to leave and kept him behind to speak to him!

i do believe mediation would work if you both want it to.

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17 Sep 12 #356431 by leanng
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i went to mediation last year. both of us had individual appointments each. they basically wanted to know situation and what you wanted to mediate about and then tell you what you need for joint appointment i.e. all financial docs etc...

The joint appointment started off with the mediator bascially telling both parties grounds rules i.e. let each other speak, listen to each other...

She then asked who would like to start... and then the fun began...my ex basically verbally attacked me, wouldn''t / couldn''t keep his cool..walked out..came back after 10 to 15 mins... started again, refused to let me speak.. In the end the mediator told my ex that she could not deal with him and told him to seek a solicitor. She was extremely professional.. told me to leave and kept him behind to speak to him!

i do believe mediation would work if you both want it to.

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