A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Mediation paperwork.

  • cliasmol£7
  • cliasmol£7's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
14 Oct 12 #360904 by cliasmol£7
Topic started by cliasmol£7
I am still seething after mediation from hell on Thursday, when the mediator ( a Solicitor) was rude/unprofessional and didn t even know the law, it is such a shame that I cannot name her, so others are warned.
It cost £150 each + VAT for the hour, good work if you can get it.
I asked for a written account of what was discussed, to be told " she didn t do this "
I watched her take notes, have others been given written record of mediation sessions ?
It is now going to be court which terrifies me, I am just not emotionally strong enough, which of course what ex is relaying on.
Is it worth putting in a complaint/ reporting her to Law Society ?
Many Thanks.

  • .Charles
  • .Charles's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361019 by .Charles
Reply from .Charles
Mediators are in a strange position as they are not allowed to dispense legal advice. You say that she did not know the law - what do you mean by this? Was it the case that she did not know what type of orders the court could make or that she would not give you specific advice?

The only notes I have seen from a mediator is when there is an agreement, to which each party is not bound by. Did you take your own notes whilst you were there?

Charles

  • GETTING STRONGER NOW
  • GETTING STRONGER NOW's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361021 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
Reply from GETTING STRONGER NOW
I got a brief summary of what was discussed at mediation about 3 weeks after however it differed a great deal on what actually happened.
My children saw the mediator as well, my daughters comment afterwards (i was in the waiting room) was that was a waste of time she didn''t listen to anything I said and sat drawing flowers all the time.
During the feedback session myself and my husband were given a brief summary of what the children said however the letter we received after this again was totally different from what was said during the session. Has I do not plan to have any further mediation I did not raise this problem. I felt that the mediators weren''t really interested in what we were saying and were happy to sit there for an hour and be paid £250 plus. Lets face it who wouldn''t be.
However. I have just received a letter from mediation telling me my file was now closed. Has to why you have been given no feedback I do not know maybe they all work differently.

  • cliasmol£7
  • cliasmol£7's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361031 by cliasmol£7
Reply from cliasmol£7
Dear Charles,
It is a rather complicated case in that there is a fair bit of money involved,both myself and ex are strong characters and like to win.
He is self employed and I have major health problems.
The fist thing discussed was the Petition, the original was horrific and untrue, he agreed to put in watered down version if I did not cross petition, and just put original in anyway.
It was so painful, full of historical messy family stuff, which as is obvious there is going to be fault on all sides and I refuse to be family scapegoat.
I became so distressed that I started crying, to be told by mediator, case would have to stay in mediation as I obviously had no mental capacity for court !!
She was just feathering her own nest.
Mental Capacity is a medical not legal decision, I know because I used to work in the business.
She also told us it would be a defnite 50/50 split, which I also thought was wrong. when I checked with my Solicitor. what I thought was right, in a long standing marriage ( 35 years ) 50/50 is a starting point by the courts.
No, I did not take notes, as I could not concentrate on what was going on and take notes.
Many Thanks.

  • cliasmol£7
  • cliasmol£7's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361035 by cliasmol£7
Reply from cliasmol£7
Many Thanks, I think inaccurate paperwork would annoy me more than no paperwork.
I just don t know how these people get away with it.
Apparently 70% of financial settlements are achieved @ mediation , are these people getting what they are entitled to ?
I have sent them an arsy email asking for a summary, don t suppose that I will get it.
I think that Charles is right to take own notes.
Is there anyone out there who has had a really good experience with mediation,to provide a balanced view.
Or if everyone that has had problems with the process could post their situation, perhaphs one of the wiki legals could contact their professional club and offer constructive comments on how the service could be more client friendly, ie written summary etc.
Many Thanks.

  • .Charles
  • .Charles's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361037 by .Charles
Reply from .Charles
"Apparently 70% of financial settlements are achieved @ mediation"

I''m not sure where that figure comes from. Mediation in its current form has not been around long enough to achieve this kind of throughput.

The FDR hearing (the one after the FDA but before the Final hearing) is a kind of mediation where the judge gives an opinion and tries to chivvy the parties into a settlement or to aid them when they ''get stuck'' on an issue.

In the present case it sounds as though the mediator was unhelpful and should not be offering legal opinion whether right or wrong.

This is not the first time I have heard of an unhelpful mediation. A colleague of mine had a client who went to mediation in relation to a Children Act issue. The client was the mother who has residence of the child. The father wanted shared residence even though this was not appropriate. The mediator said to the client that she should agree as the court is now making shared residence orders as a matter of course. The client was disappointed and agreed to shared residence as she did not see any other option.

In that case the mediation was harmful as it gave the father hope of an order he couldn''t possibly achieve (he worked night shift for a start - how was that going to work?) and pressured the mother into an agreement that she knew would not work as she was told the court would go against her.

Charles

  • cliasmol£7
  • cliasmol£7's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
15 Oct 12 #361042 by cliasmol£7
Reply from cliasmol£7
Many Thanks, I understand totally what you are saying about mediation not having been around long.
I got the 70% figure from wikivorce telephone helpline.
Does anyone know an accurate figure ?

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11