Bank statement disclosures and mediation

We have another session next month. So far my stbx is not very forthcoming about his finances and monies he spent prior to the divorce process being undertaken, although he has given what amounts so far to a years statements on one bank account. I have requested that I have access to a particular account going back a further three years. I have also asked for disclosure about the contents of an off-shore account which is held. He had this account which was opened to pay in his wages (he worked overseas and was paid in US dollars) and was registered as a limited company with myself named as company secretary, although I was never paid anything from it.

Am I legally entitled to asked for this information (3 years back statements from one account and access to off-shore account) and will the stbx be obliged to give it?

Thank you to anyone who can help.

I think disclosure is voluntary at mediation and, I think I''ve said before, mediation will only work if both parties are completely honest. If he refuses to give you the information then I guess he has something to hide. I hope the mediator can explain to him why he needs to be transparent.

Thank you for your reply.

I am anxious about the next meeting as I feel he will carry on hiding things. The money aspect of this nightmare (although important so that I can get this thing over with) is not really an issue. That doesn''t mean to say that it doesn''t concern me save to say that I personally need to move on now and get my life sorted one way or another. I''m starting to have some really bad days now but can''t seem to put my finger on exactly what it is or why it won''t go away. It''s certainly not any residual feelings for the stbx - I''m so glad to be getting rid. And I''m sure "I''ll be all right on the night" as the saying goes.

Haven''t slept all night - didn''t feel at all tired yet at the same time exhausted. Tried to get a doctors appointment to see if I can get some help. No luck, I have to wait two weeks it seems. I desperately need some relief from all of this. Hope today I can shake off whatever it is before I go bananas. Thanks for replying x

So sorry to hear how down you''re feeling and I know exactly how you feel having gone through the nightmare yourself. It''s understandable how you feel as you''re not in control and all this is stopping you from moving forward. Hang on in there and be persistent - don''t let him see your determination faultering.

As for the GP, say you need an emergency appointment. My GP saw me weekly for several months. If I had my time over again I''s not go down the sleeping pill route though. I was on them for a year and it was hell coming off!

Try and direct your mediator next session, so that it''s he/she who is making the demands.

Thanks for the advice. A light bulb went on when I read your comments - it''s the lack of control and his controlling behaviour that is causing me the grief.

I have taken on board your remarks about the mediator; in the past sessions it has always appeared to me at least that he is doing all the dictating, and yes, I believe his tactics are designed to hide other assets. I did mentioned court proceedings to him the last time we spoke and he has since sent me an email saying he will see his solicitor because I am harassing him with my constant disclosure demands. So be it. Needless to say I didn''t answer the jerk and don''t intent to except via my solicitor.

Feeling better already!

kind regards x

I think I would be tempted to ask him the question, at your next Mediation session: ''What would you prefer, for me to be harassing you for disclosure or for a judge in court to be harassing you?'' To be honest your mediator should be backing up as it really is a waste of time and money for you both if he will not present all his information.

I notice he is complaining about the requests for disclosure rather than saying ''There is nothing more to disclose''.

You have him out of his comfort zone. Keep pushing!