A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


mediation when?

  • shinyhappypeople
  • shinyhappypeople's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
11 Sep 08 #47717 by shinyhappypeople
Topic started by shinyhappypeople
Hi

Was just wondering if you need to start proceedings for divorce before you can try mediation over finances .
I am unsure about starting the ball rolling myself .
Can we just sort finances and then sort divorce stuff when ready?

thanks for any advice

shiny

  • Dadsrus
  • Dadsrus's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
11 Sep 08 #47724 by Dadsrus
Reply from Dadsrus
Hi Shiny,

I decided to do mediation before starting proceedings.
We have just about reached agreement and the mediation lawyer has also help us with the divorce petition (but there is some things she is not allowed to do since it is a conflict of interest).

Beware, not all lawyers like mediators and so if you go down the mediation route, you may then need advice on selecting a suitable lawyer - if you have to go that way.

so far it has worked for us.

x

Dadsrus

  • TryingMyBest
  • TryingMyBest's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
11 Sep 08 #47726 by TryingMyBest
Reply from TryingMyBest
They say it's always worth trying mediation - probably earlier the better. It didn't work in my case - FXW far too adversarial and conflict-driven, and we kept on going with it far past it's sell-by date (10 sessions or so).

So my suggestions are:-
(1) test out mediators first and find one you think will be helpful - they vary in quality and approach.
(2) if it looks like it isn't going to work call it quits after a few sessions and go another route.

Hope it does work though.

tmb

  • shinyhappypeople
  • shinyhappypeople's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
11 Sep 08 #47727 by shinyhappypeople
Reply from shinyhappypeople
Hi there

thanks for that , so we could go to mediation first and then if we reach agreement sort out divorce petition and Consent Order?

How many sessions does it normally take? and how much did it cost you?
How did they deal with financial disclosure?

sorry to ask all this , just trying to decide what to do next.

thanks for any help

shiny

  • Dadsrus
  • Dadsrus's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
11 Sep 08 #47823 by Dadsrus
Reply from Dadsrus
hi shiny,

as tmb says they are all differnt - so it is important you find one that is alligned with what you are trying to achieve.

I ran a mile from a mediator attached to a big law firm and found an independent (who is lovely) - there is a website which lists them by region.

It is costing us around £200 an hour. We have done 4 sessions of 1 and a half to 2 hours.

As we have gone through the process, we have changed our minds a couple of times.

You have to be quite close to do mediation

Guys tend to think they have a lot to lose and so may baulk at giving up assets without a fight - which is not the spirit of mediation.

Hope this helps

  • Nettle
  • Nettle's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
13 Sep 08 #48277 by Nettle
Reply from Nettle
My solicitor recommended mediation and referred me to one she liked.

It cost us 170 pounds an hour. Then another 170 to get it all written up and sent to the solicitors.

Our mediator has legal training, and was able to tell us what the courts would or would not agree to.

  • D L
  • D L's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
14 Sep 08 #48343 by D L
Reply from D L
Hi Shiny

Yes you can go to mediation first and then do the petition and Consent Order.

The mediation service should give you disclosure forms, if not use Forms E which you can download in the resources section.

As for cost, depends where you go - you can google family mediation and look for a service near you.

In terms of the amount of sessions, that depends on how quickly you and he get through it - but I would caution that you are careful not to flog a dead horse - if progress isnt being made in each session you need to consider if mediation is working for you.

Amanda

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11