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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Help at my wits end!!

  • Saddened
  • Saddened's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
13 Nov 08 #65081 by Saddened
Topic started by Saddened
Hi all,

Had mediation (second lot) to agree a physical separation and job done last Thursday, or so I thought!! Stbx's solicitor has just written to mine saying he is going for residency as Mediation has failed.!! Just to re cap, stbx willfully unemployed for nearly two years with no intention of getting a job, saying I perform very little duties with regards to the children. I get up at six a.m. to ensure my eldest is out for school at seven and other two kids up and dressed whilst he comes down to say good bye to kids at 8.15 when au pair take then to school and I go off to work!! My solicitor says not to let on I know about the letter from his solicitor and carry on as normal whilst she deals with the rebuttal of the "mediation has failed" rather than concluded and she is going to prevent him from getting public funding for an agreement which cost me £1,200, oh yes I paid for Mediation too, other wise he wouldn't have gone!

I am finding it very hard not to react. The children are soooooo unhappy as when ever we are together we just argue in front of the children - the red mist descends. We need to separate, but he does not see this as beneficial to him as his meal ticket is soon to be no more. I have paid for every thing for 19 years. More fool me!!

He has been delaying the inevitable since May, I had to have the bailiffs serve the petition, his form E must have taken him 5 mins to complete with no supporting docs but still I have offered half the house and £20k to get him started on his independent life..

How do I get him to understand the kids are hurting and he needs to move on?


  • marriaa
  • marriaa's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
14 Nov 08 #65108 by marriaa
Reply from marriaa
Hi sad,
just want you to know that we are here to support you.
come to chat when you have a chance.it does help to let off steam.

  • Saddened
  • Saddened's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
15 Nov 08 #65560 by Saddened
Reply from Saddened

Thanks for that. I am much calmer now. Had a lot to deal with recently, including the death of my mother three weeks ago whilst undertaking mediation but remained focussed. Haven't grieved yet. Eldest (13yrs) started truanting etc etc . Luckily I have a Counsellor, wonderful woman! I think God is testing me, my stbx certainly is trying to break me (not likely, well not until the absolute) :laugh:


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