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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


1st mediation next week - at last!

  • Blueintears
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03 Dec 08 #70377 by Blueintears
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Hello,
I have been to mediation today and from starting at 50-50 and then saying perhaps I should have 60-40 and then him saying he wanted 70-30…we came out with a suggestion of 50-50 (of house only) He keeps his pension, me mine. And he keeps an £8000 endowment too. He said that his solicitor has said that he is likely to get 70-30 because of his age?? (I am 45 and he is 58) He has pension worth 69k and mine is worth 22k.
Question:
1. House is currently worth about 190k. (may have dropped to 180k by now - going to get it re-valued) We owe 20k and to sell 7k. So approx 163 equity.
Am I totally selling myself short if I accept 81k?

This would either be by me staying in house and buying him out (So I get a 190k 5 bed house for 80k effectively)or vice versa. Alternatively we sell up and have 50-50 each. I feel that this could be done and dusted quickly if I do this although it would mean giving him 50k now and owing him the rest as a percentage. Or selling and splitting costs 50-50 until house sold. Any ideas/opinion?? And is he bluffing about his solicitor (he only saw her once he hasn't appointed her) saying he could possibly get 70-30????

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03 Dec 08 #70396 by dukey
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Hello Blue can you answer these questions please then imformed answers can be given.

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.

Without this information the answer to "What am I going to get" cannot be given.

Amanda

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03 Dec 08 #70401 by Blueintears
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Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages; 14 yrs and 20 yrs

How many nights the children spend with each parent; Me sole custody but she will prob stay with Dad every other weekend for a night.

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation; Marriage 10 years co-hab 14 years

Your respective incomes; Both on the same wage take ome approx 1250 pm

Your respective outgoings; don'tknow till we seperate.
Your assets - both soley held and joint; House valued at 190 owe 20k (plus 7k to sell)

Your liabilities. £1,000 - suite DFS

Thanks Dukey.x

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04 Dec 08 #70615 by verity
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Hi Bluein tears
Your Ex is bluffing about the solicitor , I was going to give my Ex more than 50 /% because I wanted to finished with him and get on with my life ,but my barrister said no after 26 years of marriage and still 2 children to look after 15 years and 19 years old who go Uni still depend mo me ,say I'm selling myself short ,I would be untitle to 60/40 and at FDR the judge said that I been realistic ,but because my Ex isn't showing any of his bank A/C that why now we will go to fh . Don't believe whatever you Ex is saying ,they have to lies to get what he want .My ex did tell me 50/50 .but then again he can just make me sigh something i don't know . Well be careful . take care .

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05 Dec 08 #70797 by Blueintears
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Thanks Verity...have you been to fdr yet?

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05 Dec 08 #70806 by Bobbinalong
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Hi all, guess what, me too at first mediation next week, now separated after wife planned to split us up over 2 years. The house which I owned for nearly 20 years, we have been in for 5 years as a family I am now not in, I am in some rented bungalow. We each go to a lone mediation session apparently then together, my question, she has instigated this and as a referal through her solicitor, she is on legal aid, the first session free, do I pay anything toward the joint mediation session? I really dont think I should, although i agree I would If I had called it? but would I pay half? Anyhow will see how it goes, I would like to settle for 50% as she has not really financially contributed to the house during her 5 years, everything has always come from my wages, her account has always been kept pretty close to her chest.

  • shinyhappypeople
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05 Dec 08 #70817 by shinyhappypeople
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Hi Steve

Have been to mediation myself and I sympathise with you. Yes you will have to pay youre half if youre not entitled to legal aid . I too feel sick that I am being forced to pay for something I had no say in ,( I thought we were happy together !) but as I see it, its the only way to get a fair settlement unless you can agree between yourselves !
You either pay mediator or you pay solicitor or both :(

take care

shiny

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