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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


1st mediation next week - at last!

  • Gilly
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26 Nov 08 #68694 by Gilly
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sven0605 wrote:


My plan is to stick to the facts about my earnings and assets (I am employed so it is impossible for me to hide anything) and do some adding up on the stbxs income(she does some self employed cash in hand work) and also the value of things she has taken from the house like jewellery that she had from me over the years.

Sven - unless the jewellery and stuff has significant value then it is best left alone. If you start to go down the route of putting a price on everything you have bought during the relationship - you'll end up fighting a very long, pointless and bloody battle - not the best way to start mediation. Gifts are gifts - end of chat. If they have significant value ie over say £1000 and there are several of them then bring them up - or make sure they are listed as assets on your STBX's balance sheet - if were talking about one or two things worth a couple of hundred quid tops they are not worth arguing over - there will be plenty of other things to thrash out that your time and that of the Mediator would be better spent on.... Gilly

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26 Nov 08 #68697 by Blueintears
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Thanks Sven and Gilly.

I have pm you Sven
So any advice on settlement regarding credit crunch and possible redundancy? I am assuming that we would still have to put the house on the market even if he were made redundant but that I may get less share especially as he is 58???? Or better to accept less now and get out before it gets worse?

  • Itgetsbetter
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26 Nov 08 #68701 by Itgetsbetter
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Hi Gilly

Thanks for the advice on the jewellery. There is also a matter of principle on one of the items as it was bought for her christmas present last year as a replacement wedding/engagement ring when we were trying to patch things up, and it cost over £500. In the divorce petition she says she had decided the marriage was over in the October (we bought the ring in December). That Christmas she hardly bought me anything as she had a hernia repair done just before Christmas (done on my company private health care). So I do feel strongly that this jewellery should be considered as if she is being truthful in the divorce petition it was bought under false pretences!

The other item of jewellery are some tanzanite earings I bought back when I was in South Africa and are worth over £1000 so I believe it is fair to bring up as an asset. I take the point about getting mediation off on the right foot, but there are also assets that were gifts from my family for the house that (i.e expensive dining table) that I am pretty certain she will list on the balance sheet. Most of her extra money was spent on gifts for herself like tattoos and weekends away with the girls over the years!

Steve

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26 Nov 08 #68702 by Gilly
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Blue - you don't mention if there are any children involved - so if there are - the PWC (person with care) ie the parent who will house them gets a larger share due to needs. (More mouths to feed and bigger housing need than other party) But don't forget that pensions also can have significant value also - so these will be listed also, as will any equity in the marital home. If no children involved then 50/50 is the ideal split - but obviously that can still be tempered by other issues i.e. ill health of one party, inability to work full time, likely future earnings, length of marriage/partnership, needs of the non resident parent etc etc. 70/30 may be achievable on the equity - but you may have to leave his pension alone to achieve that - you'll obviously need to know what that is worth before agreeing to anything. mediation will draft a Statement of Understanding -but that is not binding - it's more like doing the donkey work for your solicitor then presenting them with with the joint decision re finances in a readily readable format. That's generally when the fun starts....solicitor says this, his says that etc etc. If you are both happy with what you have agreed at mediation then go with it and make sure your ex does - solicitors just like stirring up the hornets nest again - makes more work for them!

Good luck...

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26 Nov 08 #68704 by Itgetsbetter
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Hi Blue

With regards to the house, do you have dependant children? If so that will make a difference as they need to have somewhere to live so it may be the house shouldn't be sold.

If no children I think then it really depends on the property market and I'm not even going to try and predict what that is going to do!

Steve

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26 Nov 08 #68705 by Gilly
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SVEN said....
Most of her extra money was spent on gifts for herself like tattoos and weekends away with the girls over the years!


Thats a tough one Sven - Should you claim the Dining table or tattos - sod it mate - go for the tattoos!!

Seriously - go for the table in exchange to the jewellery...go for both to start with and "settle" for the table - she can keep the tattoos as well...

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26 Nov 08 #68708 by Blueintears
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Hi Yes I have a child of 13 (and one 19) at home. I don't really want to stay in marital home if I can help it. Would rather fresh start. I am self-repping and he doesn't have a solicitor as he wants to keep costs down and is hoping we come to agreement.. Trouble is up to now he thinks he can buy me out for £50 k and he stays in 5 bed house alone! I will update once I have been to mediation.

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