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mediation failed - what next

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10 Feb 09 #88024 by shazza
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Our last mediation session was a disaster. X2B would not co-operate and basicly went back on everything we had already agreed at mediation. The mediators didn't even really tell me what he had offered me. They just said you two just aren't going to agree so go to your solicitors. I feel totally let down and just don't know where to go from here.

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10 Feb 09 #88029 by D L
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Hi there

If I remember your posts correctly, I think yours was the case where from what you had said, mediation was highly unlikely to work.

However, all is not lost, and it is by no means certain you are going to end up in court, as of course you can negotiate via lawyers. However, one word of warning given that mediation has failed, is to watch carefully how much you do spend on negotiating. Sometimes it takes a court application to focus minds.

Amanda

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10 Feb 09 #88034 by driff
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Hi. I have just signed on to this site and replying to you for practice if nothing else. Here goes.

I found professional mediation was a waste of time. Too much red-tape and a failure to cut to the chase. Have you considered mediation through a mutually trusted friend? This seems to me to be more sensible. A friend might better understand the emotions involved. What each side sees as being "fair" is going to differ. Understanding the reasoning behind an opinion of what is "fair" might help?

But what do I know? Not much I think.

R

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10 Feb 09 #88042 by shazza
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Hi Amanda

Yes you are right he is highly controlling but in the back of my mind I always hoped that having someone else there would help him see reason. Doesn't seem to have happened though. The main problem is that he links all the financial offers to me accepting joint residency of the children and if you have read my posts about him and the girls you can see why I can't agree to that. He also tried to hide a property which he has abroad. Luckily I had photocopied the paperwork but he is now saying I stole those papers and he will not send me a financial offer until I return them. I am really fed up with these threats.

If you apply to the courts can you cancel if you then come to an arrangement? Also who needs to apply? And can you apply before you have the nici? Also should I sort out residency issues first or financial issues? WHERE do I start?

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10 Feb 09 #88044 by shazza
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Hi Driff

Not sure if this would work. He doesn't seem to listen to anyone.

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10 Feb 09 #88045 by Sera
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Re: the papers. You could argue it's joint-marital property.

Or simply retain copies for yourself and return the originals to him or his solicitors. It's the fact that you have evidence of the property that he's not disclosed that will matter; not whether it's a copy or not.

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