just wanted opinions of any peeps out there .
we have been going to mediation , married 6 years and I have been looking at taking out what we each put in and dividing any increase .
This week , the mediator said that the courts would usually take the easiest route . We have agreed that I brought in 60 - 70 % of the cash assets and my stbx brought in a large pension ( both 2nd marriages )
My stbxs pre married pension is out of the "pot" , fair enough , but when it came to properties she looked at the fact that I had 30 k more now ( I had more than that before we married !) and said 60 % of that extra 30k to me and 40% to him !!
so I would owe him money !
so he would get to keep his premarried assets , but I share mine ! 18 years in my home before he came along and 6 years later its in the pot for sharing .
to any men ( or women ) coming out of a marriage with a big pension , I would suggest you marry someone with an nice house , walk out after 6 years and then claim half that house and walk away with your pension .
If this were form E or going to court; they would be listed as his assets, and if you agreed not to touch his Pensions, (you off-setting a claim and retaining a larger percentage of the home) then that is a starting point of mediated negotiations.
But he's WRONG in assuming he can keep what's his, thes expect what's yours.
Get the pension put in to the pot, and work from that.
His pensions are out of the pot cos they were premarried and she says case law says premarried pensions are out of pot ( mine 2 though only fraction of his )
so then theres the property that was his for 12 months before we married and has been rented out and property that was mine and we lived in .
As I say , we agreed I had 60-70% of the cash assets going into marriage so now she calculated 60% of the difference in property equity now to me , and as I have 30k more equity in my house now , shes allocated 60% of that to me and 40% to him .
so he keeps his premarried pension , his house ( with reduced mortgage paid by rent ) , the increase in his house , and 40% of the increase in mine !! and he earns twice what I do !!
This hasnt been agreed ( obviously ) , I just thought the mediator would see that this is unfair and say so !!
I had no problem with premarried pensions out of pot when I thought we would take out what we put in ie more cash assets to me , but this way round just appears to give him the best of both , he is now saying he doesnt even need to come up with value of premarried pensions on his form as theyre not relevant whereas everything i have is !!
I have taken advice and will be putting forward my views on this , it just made me unsure of things .
As I said he has a better income than me and is currently
" pretending " to live back in his house , I know that as soon as things are sorted he will move in with ow and rent house out again !!!! and so it goes on .....
Does anyone know if there is case law that says premarried pensions are out of the pot ?
form E asks for disclosure of ALL assets that you have. You make an honest disclosure, of absolutely everything; regardless of what date you had it from: and from the pot you negotiate.
A judge considers both parties needs and incomes, and it would be for a judge to decide what he's ignoring.
Expecting disclsore is one thing. Expecting a fair share of it is another. If you'd both agreed to keep respective assets, then this wouldn't have been issue. But he's made it an issue, and in claiming against the assets you've brought in; I think your mediator is not advising you properly.
I don't think your mediator is pointing you down the right path either.
Your marriage was fairly short, and therefore I don't think it is unreasonable for you to adopt the principle stated above that each of you takes out what you brought in to the marriage and you divide what you accumulated during it. This would include the increase in the values of property, pensions and so on.
This could mean that you owe him money. For the sake of argument, lets say that those are the only assets you have and that the value of your house has gone up by £100k and his pension has gone up by £50k. If you are sharing the increase in spoils equally, then you would end up owing him £25k.
I don't know if that makes the idea any clearer - but its all I'm capable of this evening! I've just spent a couple of hours trying to sort out the affairs of two very nice but very unhappy people - and I need a drink!!