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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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Please give some mediation guidance

  • Greenweenie
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28 Feb 09 #94045 by Greenweenie
Reply from Greenweenie
Is your husband agreeing to the move? I was driven to get a solicitor simply because my husband plays mind games and makes me doubt myself alot! I don't want to take any wrong turns here that won't be beneficial to my son and I in the long run. Like you, I hate to take my son away from his dad...it's a heart breaking subject, but gosh, family support network is a lifeline I don't have here. You can understand that! Husbands family can't really help due to work obligations and quite honestly, just not family oriented. Anyway, are you having to petition to remove the children from the jurisdiction? I would only stay here because I have to get turned around and I think it's best done while living here. I just hated my husband telling me I couldn't move away with our son. The solicitor assured me that it's just not realistic in this case because I am not unfit, the place I would take him to is full of wanting, willing helping hands. I just don't think I would have the Government backing there that I am unfortunately going to no doubt have to rely on for the short term while I finish that degree and get turned around. My biggest thing was I didn't want to have a baby and have to work...with this sudden divorce issue and a new baby...I am willing to sacrifice trips and any extras in an effort to be a mom to him while he's still small. Did your solicitor say anything about possibly getting a court order to allow you to move away with the kids when you feel ready to move away from England? I wonder if I get a court order in my favor to allow me to move...eventually, if it would only be valid for a short period of time. That's another question for Wiki users! It's so frustrating but at the same time, comforting to know there are others in a sort of similar situation. Best of luck to you and thanks for your message!

  • rasher
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  • Platinum Member
01 Mar 09 #94221 by rasher
Reply from rasher
Hi Greenie

You will still need a solicitor unless you want to self represent as mediation is not legally binding its just meant to be a quicker route to getting to agreement rather than the courts having to decided everything. You will have to decide how to petition for divorce and sol should advise you about that and if you manage to reach agreement through mediation sol can draft up Consent Order.

Cant really advise you on the stay or go issue - this one you will have to weigh up. Your husband does have a say in that because its his child too, he might agree now but later on if you stay re-think the issue - that one will need careful working through.


  • Bobbinalong
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01 Mar 09 #94223 by Bobbinalong
Reply from Bobbinalong
dont worry about mediation it is very balanced.
You will not be allowed to go on about why you are in the position, ie neither will he, the mediator should keep you on track.
You will find the session will go so quick, the first one is about finding facts, and possibly about the child and what will happen.
Finances are done later.
I assume you will have legal aid for yours?
He will not, and may want as few sessions as possible but looks like this will take a few.
Main thing is dont worry, no one will force you to make any decisions without you thinking about them or taking advice.
Everything will come out.
and it will be looked at what is possible.
Dont worry about the USA just now, if you suggest you are going he may put a spanner in the works, you need other stuff sorting first.

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