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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Is it okay to discuss personal issues too?

  • elena
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18 Mar 09 #99968 by elena
Reply from elena
I am due to attend an individual mediation session in a couple of weeks. My solicitor advised that whilst yes, mediation is about sorting practicalities out, I should put my views forward from my perspective as it gives the mediator a clear idea of where I stand on our situation. I am clear from my own circumstances that my husband simply just walked out and that I do not agree to the seperation, do not agree that the marriage has broken down irretrevably and will at no point be initiating or consenting to divorce proceedings should my husband bring them.
My solicitor has said that I should make all of this clear at the start in my initial session so that my views are clear to the mediator - then they are aware what they can and cannot explore as a solution to the problems e.g if they hadn't known I was not going to participate in divorce proceedings then they may have felt that it would have provided a solution to the finances/house etc - and may have suggested it.
If we move onto a joint session then I will be raising the practicalities hopefully without any emotions involved because I won't have to as we will all be clear on where I am coming from with regard to them.

  • Bobbinalong
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18 Mar 09 #99978 by Bobbinalong
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elena, I know exactly how you feel sweatheart about not agreeing to seperation and divorce, but unfotunately if your husband wants to go down that road there is not a lot you can do, and it will cost you a lot of money to defend it.
I tried in mediation to say that it was not me that wanted this situation but it is either ignored or the mediator states that we are here to sort situation not debate wether we should be divorced or not!
It is made clear byt hem that you are getting divorced, and that its a froum to discuss what it to happen with finances etc.

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18 Mar 09 #99979 by elena
Reply from elena
My husband hasn't asked for a divorce - just to clarify my religion states that I can neither initiate or consent to a divorce which is why I am not doing should it be raised by the mediator. It is doubtful whether it will be brought up by my husband as he knows my beliefs.
I know what our situation is - if he wants out then that's up to him - but my solicitor was clear that I should also make my beliefs known so that the mediators don't see that as an avenue that can be explored.

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