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Adultery query

  • Ladybelle
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04 Mar 08 #15748 by Ladybelle
Topic started by Ladybelle
I did ask this a while ago but didnt really get a clear answer, then I emailed my Sol, who did reply but I still didnt get a firm answer and dont want to email him again as no doubt I will get charged for each email I write !!

I wanted clarification on the adultery time limit question. I plan to file against my x2b for his adultery, but reading on here, I read you cant file for adultery more than 6 months after finding out about it.

I found out in September but dont plan to file until end May for various reasons.

My Sol said, yes it was true but that in my case it didnt matter, as the adultery was plainly ongoing ?? and that in any case if it was proved that the adultery was only over 6 months ago, we could use his infidelity as unreasonable behaviour as grounds ?

Now, his adultery IS continuing as he has now moved in with her, so in this instance, does this mean I CAN file for adultery against him ?? as it is ongoing, so the 6 month period is just ongoing all the time ?

I wonder if there are any Sol's here or other Experts who can clarify this for me once and for all please :)

  • DownButNotOut
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04 Mar 08 #15750 by DownButNotOut
Reply from DownButNotOut
Yes.

You have to file within 6 months of finding out about an act of adultery.

But each new one you find out about starts the clock again.

So if he committed adultery last week (and you can prove it) you have 6 months from last week.

The issue/challenge with adultery is not this time limit thingy... but that you have to prove it if he does not admiot it.

Proving adultery can be very tricky unless u have a hidden camera in their bedroom.

Thats why most people end up going for unreasonable behaviour.

Hope that answers your Q. :)

  • Ladybelle
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04 Mar 08 #15760 by Ladybelle
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Thanks for that. So does the fact he is living with her mean I can go for adultery ? I dont see how he can deny it. Is there any benefit to him denying it ? as he will want the divorce anyway. My filing against him will actually mean he is freer sooner as he cant file against me for 2 years. Is there any benefit to me if I file for adultery or unreasonable behaviour ? Is there any difference ? What would benefit me most is what I guess I am asking ? LOL

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04 Mar 08 #15764 by DownButNotOut
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There is nothing to gain in terms of the size fo the settlement you will get.

UK divorce is 'no fault' so he does not lose points for adultery.

The downside of going for adultery is that if he objects and decides to defend it / deny it , then you get into a pointless fight about adultery which could rack up a couple of grand in costs - for nothing.

It could also prolong the whole thing. And if you are not receiving mmaintenance in the meantime that could be a real pain.

So......

the norm is to agree between you to go for unreasonable behaviour. Agree to share costs. And come up with a list of unreasonable behaviour examples that he can accept and just sign and get on with it.

  • Elizabeth
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04 Mar 08 #15779 by Elizabeth
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Hello Ladybelle,
Adultery/unreasonable behaviour/whatever... in my experience the judge (you don't have to attend court for the divorce reading) does not care. As long as your ex does not contest (and it will cost him to do so) I can see no reason why it should not go ahead - isn't adultery unreasonable enough behaviour?!! Try not to e-mail your solicitor - as you quite rightly say you will pay! - for every word!

  • Ladybelle
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05 Mar 08 #15786 by Ladybelle
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I know I get charged, but I prattle when I phone and the last time I rang him I was on the phone for 20 minutes, during which he told me that his charges equate to £18 for 6 minutes !!!!! He did say though that he would not charge for that phone call on that occasion ! so I thought an email was the best option. I had other important things I had to tell him so it had to be done.

  • netscape
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05 Mar 08 #15865 by netscape
Reply from netscape
Hi Ladybelle

1. write down the numbered questions, wait a day, redraft and make it shorter and to the point. Email it. Depending on your sol charges which he would have written about and you agreed, it would state how much he charges for receiving and replying to letters is cheaper than £180 per hour you quoted for consultation.

2 If you can prove cohabitation eg with docs and photos than you should check this subject as I understand one cannot claim once cohabiting and having left former matrimonial home (FMH). Divorce is about money. Who gets how much and/or FMH.
Good luck.

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