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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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can he contest...

  • emma79
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10 Mar 08 #16371 by emma79
Topic started by emma79
My x2b has not acknowledged receipt of my divorce petition. Tomorrow marks 21 days. I know he's had it at least that long as he sent me a text message saying he doesn't like whats in it and will be contesting it.

The petition is based on unreasonable behaviour.

He rang me last friday and mentioned that he still hadn't had time to deal with it.

My solicitor told me they would be following it up tomorrow and that i can send a bailif to serve the petition on him (at a cost to me)so we can get on with things.

Will his delay in signing the acknowledgement affect his ability to contest if thats what he decides he still wants to do?

The reason I am so worried is that I offered to pay for the divorce. I wanted to get on with it and was happy with the cost of a basic divorce (we already divided up belongings etc and have no children). x2b seemed happy with this arrangement also. If he contests fees will skyrocket and since in the petition I said I would pay, am I going to end up with the extra costs that I can't afford to pay?

Since both of us want to be divorced, everything in the petition was true, and UB gives the respondant the chance to say their piece without contesting, I really can't see why he would risk more financial costs...thats whats making me think this is going to be a way of getting back at me and leaving me completely skint.

I am quite confident in my solicitor but would like any other advice as I am getting quite anxious now.

Emma

  • LittleMrMike
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10 Mar 08 #16377 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
There isn't a lot of point in contesting an allegation of unreasonable behaviour. A full scale defended divorce is very rare, costs a bomb and achieves nothing except lining lawyers' pockets.

I hope you have make it clear that you aren't willing to pay for a defended divorce.

If he disagrees with the allegations, he can just say that he disagrees with them, but accepts that the marriage is over and reserves the right to dispute the allegations if they are raised in the course of other proceedings.

You say you have agreed the finances. That's fine, I'm all for that, but have you considered the desirability of a Consent Order ? That makes your agreement legally binding and prevents any comebacks at a later date.

Mike 100468

  • Elizabeth
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11 Mar 08 #16435 by Elizabeth
Reply from Elizabeth
Hello Emma,

What Mike says is absolutely right - I became a bit puzzled as I read on your blog that there are no children, financial things are sorted so I am not sure of your ex's motives but then neither are you and you know him better than anyone!

If he wasn't emotionally ready for a divorce I could understand it, can you communicate directly with him or is that not viable? It will save solicitor's costs - I mean I found a lot of my costs (and I was the respondent) were solicitor's admin fees, if you yourself correspond directly with his solicitor it will save you a lot of money... unless there is a law issue most of it can be done yourself, by post. The bit advice is more prudent is the ancillary relief which you seem to have wrapped up - I would get it in the form of a Consent Order as Mike suggested and make it legally binding.

It takes two to marry, and usually one to divorce, in your case it would seem you can "agree" on one thing - you both want a divorce! Really, at the end of the day no-one cares what goes in the petition unless it's not true - is there such a thing as divorce by way of marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences?

Oh! Life is so bloomin' complicated sometimes!!

Hope you get on ok, if you are not in a hurry I would just let it ride a bit...

  • attilladahun
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11 Mar 08 #16446 by attilladahun
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"My solicitor told me they would be following it up tomorrow and that i can send a bailif to serve the petition on him (at a cost to me)so we can get on with things."

Lame -that will take up to a month

1. Assuming you have claimed costs in the Petition -Prepare an application for "deemed service" supported by a sworn affidavit stating when he received Petition and what his text said. Then lodge this with the Court and the DJ will grant the order.

At the same time swear affidavit in support of directions for trial and so when lodging at Court will be a letter with:

1. The Court Fee in support of Deemed service
2 Sworn Affidavit in support of deemed service
3 In letter it will say that subject to DJ dealing with 1 above
4 The request for Special Procedure Directions for Trial
5 Affidavit in Support

Next thing H will know is the DJ's certificate is received with D/N date and if costs were claimed ruling H should pay:)

Even if you didn't claim costs against H you are sending out a message you're not going to be messed about.

Negative feature -Court Fee to pay -moral is when issuing Petition and you want to pay OWN costs the Prayer in Petn should claim costs "if defended OR DELAYED" !!!

  • emma79
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11 Mar 08 #16450 by emma79
Reply from emma79

1. Assuming you have claimed costs in the Petition -Prepare an application for "deemed service" supported by a sworn affidavit stating when he received Petition and what his text said. Then lodge this with the Court and the DJ will grant the order.


That makes sense. I have the text message downloaded onto my computer and we also had a phone conversation. To be fair to my solicitor, she doesn't know about that yet as I haven't been in touch, thought I would let the 21 days lapse. I'll see what she says when I ring her today.

What Mike says is absolutely right - I became a bit puzzled as I read on your blog that there are no children, financial things are sorted so I am not sure of your ex's motives but then neither are you and you know him better than anyone!


I don't understand either. Ive mentioned elsewhere on this site, he and his new girlfriend are pregnant. Quick work since he told me about it in February and we only seperated at the end of september last year. (i have it on good authority that she was actually pregnant before christmas.) So you would think he would be wanting to put all his energy into that wouldn't you.

Its difficult to talk to him. One second he's reasonable and we seem to be thinking along the same lines. The next hes lost it. I obviously haven't figured out how to get my point across with him...nothing new there then.

We haven't signed anything about money. I have all the calculations of what we agreed, and he had to pay me a sum of money, which he did as he was happy with the amount. I provided balances for everything. Even going so far as to dig out my finances before we met to prove I wasn't leaving the marriage any better off!

I would have thought the fact he paid me that was confirmation that he accepted everything written down. Money is tight and, as you say, the more your solicitor does....

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