I am about to petition for divorce on grounds of adultery and wish to name the other woman. My solicitor has advised against this as it is not in line with family law best practice, but I feel quite strongly about it as I feel people should be held accountable for their actions. Also since her expenses etc are to be taken into account on the financial side, she is a part of all this!
I am not concerned that she can dispute it as she fell pregnant to him before he left me and they are now living together.
I too am divoring my husband based on his adultery, and I also wanted to name the co-responant, but, as your solicitor advised (as did mine) they are against it. My solicitor stating, it just makes it all the more complicated and escalates costs unecessarily. I decided not to name the co-respondant but my reasons were purely down to cost! If I'd have had the money, I would have gone against my solicitors advice and named. Hope all works out well for you, and wish you luck for your future happiness. I know its very hard, but try to stay strong.
My sol. also advised against it. She said judges don't like it, but when my stbx didn't admit it on the form my sol threatened to name her and go for costs against her. He promptly agreed to adultery and to pay costs.
Guess it all comes down to money in the end!
I named the other women in the divorce papers as my solicitor advised me too! Did'nt know it was frown upon, why? They play an integral part in the divorce. The fact is that he partially lives in her house and they are engaged to be married. When he was served the papers he said i was reading all wrong and 'she's just a friend'!! It felt right to get the true facts on paper and it had nothing to do with revenge, just wanted the truth to be known.
standing by your principles is a very expensive business i know as i named the other woman papers were served in 2006 i sent 5k on a private detective as they wouldn't admit it even with that ex2b lied on court documents so far my costs are 10k.if you name her and she doesn't agree you will have to prove the adultery to the court.if you are getting legal aid i think that you will struggle if he denies it the case will have to be listed for a contested hearing to prove it and they won't fund that as it will be seen as a waste of money when you could get the same result ie a divorce without naming her.
My solicitor advised me against naming the other man but I was suffering from acute morality, principles and excessive virtue so insisted he be named as co-respondent. I also believed the blurb about him being liable for costs.
After some protracted correspondence between the guy and my solicitor I agreed to cease pursuing him, it was going nowhere and costs were mounting. All in all my pride cost me just under two thousand pounds.
If your xtb admits the adultery, there really is no point whatsoever in pursuing the other man/woman. It doesn't do anyone any good - what happened has happened and I believe you'll be better off forgetting about him/her and moving on.
Jelly4toes, you are so right. Only the well-off can afford to have principles, the rest of us have to live with compromise.