My now ex is wealthy. He is also acutely paranoid, although because he functions on the face of society this was not raised during the divorce. It went ahead and the emotional, psychological and financial abuse he thrives on using have continued post divorce. To settle the division of the contents of the marital home (massive place) I was asked so submit a list of what I was wanting to take. The house is in his name. My modest list was ridiculed by him, and he is using it as further psychological control to try to deny me even a bed when I leave. The scraps he is offering are disgusting. The problem is that some of the stuff was paid for by me, some by him and because I was a homemaker part time and worked part time he controlled the bulk of our joint income. He paid for larger items out of it and is now saying they are all his. I cannot afford a solicitor for this - my attempts to resolve the divorce smoothly fell apart and the solicitors bill took a massive chunk out of the modest settlement so with what I have left I need to be frugal. But, he is now sending solicitors letters accusing me of nonsense and telling me I will be taken to court and made to pay costs if I do not accept the list he has said I am allowed to take from the marital home. They include a broken television - we have two large ones but he says I am not allowed one. We once had three but the third he gave to his secretary. The problem is then, when I leave soon (we live in separate parts of a massive house) and take some furniture how can I convince a court that what I have done is reasonable, which it will be. I do not want his art collection, but I do want some of the contents of my home - we were married almost 10 years and I need to start again. Can he really take me to court and lie again (he lied in court at the financial resolution hearing). The last question is really my garden. I have tended it for almost a decade, some of the plants were given to me by a now late friend. I want to take them, he says he will take me to court if I do. He has never done a days gardening in his life and is now in overdrive with the emotional and psychological abuse because he has a shedload of money and a pitbull solicitor he is using to bully by proxy - he won''t discuss anything, just uses the solicitor to intimidate. I thought it would get easier post divorce, alas that is not the case. If anyone can help I would be very grateful.
Hi VictoriaRegina, i can relate to exactely what you are saying, My ex & myself agreed on what we wanted, it was quite amicable until i had to take off (quite a distance) for a family funeral for a few day''s, I came back & he had raided the house, even taking saucepans & dinner plates.
At that point i was totally broken, i wanted to walk out close the door & never go back, I couldn''t be bothered to fight any more, so i turned to friends for basic help, It was mind blowing what they did for me, I will never be able to repay them with enough thanks,
My ex had a very wealthy background & just did it to spite & see me on my knees, Get what free help you can muster, CAB, Wiki etc, don''t be afraid to turn to friends & family, maybe except the "junk" he is offering, & when it comes to leaving the FMH, leave it there, let him get rid of it.
It turned out, i didn''t actually need the tv,i was busy decorating, etc in my new little place, had plenty to do, & not having a tv meant no licence, extra money for DIY, i know it''s the principal, but i found, it annoyed him more because i wouldn''t get invovled in his childish games of cat & mouse, I''m sorry this isn''t much help, but he made me so much stronger as a person & more determined to get by on my own & rise above him......when he realised, he was furious, it was great best wishes.
My ex was a depressive due to heavy drinking, Sadly, they don''t see clearly & are on a destructive path not only for themselves but for everyone in their way.