Have had the First Appointment, I've sent questions to the ex's solicitor and they've already asked me the one question that judge allowed atbthe first appointment. They've emailed me me okay asking how long my daughter will be dependant on me. She is 14 with special needs. The ex hasn't seen her for 10 years.
I thought that they can't ask more things. Also how can I reply? At the present I can't imagine my daughter ever having an independent life.
It also worries me, him asking that. In our divorce 10 years ago, he claimed that our daughter didn't have autism and that I lied. (Not sure how and why you'd lie about that) he made her go through another assessment which was upsetting for her and me. Obviously she still had autism. He is pure evil and I'm scared that he will put my little girl through more pain
Well, they can ask and you could decline but the question is a reasonable one and one that is in your interest to answer. If you decline, they will seek permission from court and you would most likely be ordered to answer it any way.
I was asked a very similar question and whilst I felt it was shocking that my children's own father would dismiss their disabilities in order to make his case stronger, I was advised that it would only help my case show the extent only their needs and the impact they had.
The good thing here is that you end up with a mountain of paperwork relating to your child from specialists, paediatricians, teachers, therapists, etc... These all identify your child's needs and their diagnosis. Prognosis is a hard one and as SEN parents we live with this uncertainty every day. It's important that the court knows that autism is not something that can be cured. The child will live with it their entire life. The level of adjustments needed and the child capabilities in the future are difficult to predict even by professionals. But use all the evidence you have, include the EHCP or statement. These should clearly show your child's needs.
Detail how the child's disability affects you everyday life. Such as,
Unable to work full time due to child's care needs
Added stress of caring for a disabled child and strain on family life
Limited childcare options
Specialist therapies and numerous appointments etc.
My twins are learning disabled and I have no idea what their future holds. I can only predict their future based on the past and how their disability have developed over the years and how the gap between them and their non disabled peers has multiplied and continues to grow. I anticipate they will be dependent on me into adulthood. It's a horrible thing to have to put in writing about your child who you hope and pray will be an exception and prove everyone wrong. But it's a bit like when you do a DLA application, you are forced to focus on the negatives.
I would have thought that as the new EHCP says it lasts until 25, maybe you should say you will be caring for your child at least until 25?
I am in a similar situation where Daddy thinks there is nothing wrong with his child....it really is shocking after everything we all went through and since have fought for.
I actually find it disgusting that he does not want his child to receive help.