Enough letters to paper my walls

The great advantage of Collaborative Law is that there is no correspondence between solicitors, just a series of meetings durimg the course of which the real practicle difficulties facing the family are discussed.

litigation hurts families and especially children...there is a better way to divorce...I would urge you to check it out:

www.collaborativepractice.com (international)

www.collabfamilylaw.org.uk (England)

www.centrallondoncollaborativeforum.com (London)

At the risk of blowing my new partners trumpet, check out the Manches website (yes hands up I'm now living with a family solicitor...I'm a photographer so we don't bore each other! )

www.manches.com/practices/family/service.php?id=300

Manches have produced a booklet on collaborative law which is very good.

If your Sol sends a number of letter in the same day, just refuse to pay for them all and tell them they should have written them all on one letter. Worked for me bill reduced by £250 give it a go don't be afraid to question their bills.

I used to frequent another divorce site and actually there were several people on there who had done just that!! They just paid for the time and advice they had with their solicitor using them as they felt necessary when there were certain areas of the divorce they didnt understand.

I think you have to find a solicitor who will be willing to work this way but I dont know many that would turn down the opportunity of extra business and of being paid at each visit!!

By the way I have often found it necessary in the past to question solicitors letters and work.....doesn't look like there's any change there then....I will be querying OBE's bill thats for sure...in the last week leading up to the divorce we received 5 letters in two days...You know what makes me really MAD though!!! His settlement cheque will be going to them and they are allowed to deduct their bill from that before sending it to you> I think that is totally out of order and this practice should be stopped it means you end up paying regardless of whether you have been happy with the service or not. I know you can argue afterwards but what do they care once they have your money??? Arrrrgh

OBEs 1

I agree just to 'use' a sol when you are in doubt.

To date, all I have to defend is non-mol and conduct orders, (based on lies!). I'm ploughing away at getting all my 'evidence' in defence of his accusations. When I've gathered that, I'll instruct a Barrister to prepare the forms into the proper order, (which is the bit I get stuck on!), and represent me in court.

I know my relationship better than anyone! So, I feel I can make more sense than anyone.

Sera,

Are you aware that you cannot instruct a Barrister direct?

I'm afraid you have to have a solicitor and only they can employ the services of a Barrister and guess what they get you again!! Whilst in court they have to have someone there present from the firm to prompt the Barrister i.e. not necessarily the solicitor but their paralegal assistant who is usually half the cost, so you have two costs on the day!! Our solicitor constantly told us that we didn't want to have two lots of costs in court at the FH so I thought we would just be there with the Barrister but no, it all changed in the week running up to the case when we found out that a representative of the firm that employed the Barrister must be there too!! For that reason it makes me wonder if you have left it too late because the solicitors like to prepare all the docs in the way the Barrister likes to have it presented to them i.e. the bundles??

Someone may like to correct me but I am sure this is right as our Barrister who very kindly gave me some free phone advice off the record did say to me then if we wanted to employ his services for the FH that we couldn't go to him direct, it had to be done through our solicitor.

Looks like you may have to self-rep all the way but to be honest I have followed a lot of your posts and I think you are capable of doing just that!!!!!!!! You certainly have the support of all of us on here thats for sure!!!

Good luck

OBEs

... I've just spent 20 mins replying, and it got scrapped!

However, just wanted to add thanks for your support, (can I call whole of 'wikivorce forum folk' as McKenzie friends!?

Yes, I know about the sol insructing barrister. I'm trying to collate as much evidence as I can, so I can present all for them to assemble.

One question: Because I know the 'case' better than anyone, (to me I live it 24/7, to them I'm just paperwork)... will I have the chance to talk in court, (as in give pointers asides to my legal team)??? Or will I just become a marshmallow sat in the corner? (So NOT my style!)

I did represent myself in my divorce 1999. I did win!
I did also represent myself re: custody, again, the court went with my suggestion of 'joint custody', and not my-exs.

I did represent myself in a county court, sued a kitchen company. Awarded £4,000 compensation.

This throws me, only because it's so peppered with lies, and I need someone to write it out in 'legal terms'.

Don't laugh Sera I too spent another 30 minutes answering you and I lost the lot as well! Its something to do with the site timing out, so whilst you think you are still logged in you hit the submit button and you have been logged out whilst you have meticulously thought out your answer!!! I am learning now to save everything before sending - doesn't always work though 'cos I keep forgetting to save - it's me age!!

Anyway OBE was desperate to have his say at the FH but was informed by his Barrister during a 2 hour counsel with him the week prior to the FH that the only time he would get the chance to speak would be whilst he was being cross examined by "the other side"!!

I cannot understand, when, knowing you have won on so many other occasions why you are leaving it to chance this time?? From what I can glean the only person that can prompt the Barrister during the hearing is the paralegal that is there on behalf of the firm you instruct. Now lets face it, like you said, only you have been dealing with this 24/7 and if you are only instructing them as a one off so that they can employ a Barrister that could add up to disaster as they won't know very much about the case and I don't believe they will read up on too much either - that takes too much time and time is money.

You know, the beauty of being just a simple member of the "public" as opposed to being a member of the "Bar" is that a judge will forgive any misdemeanours on your part and of course the beauty of that is that once you've said it...you've said it! Regardless of whether there is an "objection me lord" from the other side...its been said and of course its been heard........would it sway an opinion??? The judge is only human so me thinks why wouldn't it?? On the other hand a Barrister is up against etiquette and his allegience to the Bar and has to word things very carefully which doesn't always come out right in your favour!!

You are one helluva strong lady Sera, I have followed many of your posts and I would say to you - think twice before handing your "24/7 thoughts" over on a full plate just for a Barrister to dish up only half!!!

Now where's that send button lets hope I don't lose this lot!!!

May the luck be with you

OBEs 1 p.s. don't laugh I just lost this lot I was blocked by the administrator - ha ha luckily I had taken my own advice and saved it!!!!