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what exactly do i do?

  • scouse258
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04 Jan 08 #9982 by scouse258
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Hi

June last year and the very day i lost my job, i found my wife had exceeded her phone allowance and phone was blocked.

it was my contract phone and subsequently i found out she had rang and texted "a guy from work" alot.

she walked out (and to her mums) claiming they hadnt actually done anything but were friends. The following day after 14 yrs together and 9 married i got the "i love you but im not in love with you" line. i caught her getting into a taxi to his in town at 3am two weeks later

strangely enough i had nothing in me to react - very bizarre

we had a joint bank account and i lived in the marital home until we sold it last october. she continued to pay for half of everything and we agreed to go halfers on the profit from the house and amicably split up the house contents

i have a signed independently witnessed by 2 people agreement that the endowment policy is wholy mine and we transferred it over to me legally via NU and she also stated she would make no claim on my work pension

she works full time too.

6/7 months later i am in my home and she has her own house.

What i want to know now is ---what do i do next.????

we are never going to go back to one another - im on anti-d's after another short term breakup and going away on my own tomorrow to sort my head out

Can anyone advise what process i should follow
. she is refusing to admit to adultery but i still have the mob bill showing the excessive usage to one number

do i have to wait 2 sodding years before this nightmare is over

no kids by the way

im away 2 weeks but i would appreciate any words of wisdom cos i want the B>

  • mike62
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04 Jan 08 #9989 by mike62
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Scouse258,

You could petition her on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, but the instances that you cite must be within the last six months. The reasons do not have to be outrageous, but do need to be plausible.

If you do a search on here, I remember seeing something about reasons for UB.

Adultery is a much more difficult one to prove, to the satisfaction of a court. Although you have the mobile bill, it only shows that she had communication with someone, but it does not prove that they had sexual relations.

The Unreasonable behaviour route is a lot easier. However, she could kick up a fuss about the reasons, and 'cross petition' - Dispute the reasons - This is a really futile action which could cost you both dearly, as solicitors would make a meal of it.

If she is agreeable to divorcing, why not agree some 'acceptable' unreasonable behaviour reasons, agree to share costs of divorce and just get on with it? She clearly has no desire for reconciliation, as with yourself.

Hope it helps, best of luck

Mike

  • gone1
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05 Jan 08 #10030 by gone1
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Umm depends on what you want to do. I suppose you want to divorce her. There is no need to do adultery. U dont have to prove it now its just a little box you tick. You dont have to name the other party but if you do they have to be served as well as your wife.

What I would do is talk to your ex. Tell her you dont want to wait 2 years and want it over. See if she will accept UB on the basis of she dont love you and she has deserted you and living in her own home and everything sold blah blah. That should be enough for a judge. U dont need loads of reasons for UB but U just have to demonstrate that the marriage is broken down and yours clearly has.

The hard bit is to get the respondent to sign and return the petition. You have a very good chance of getting your divorce. To be honest I wish I had an ex like yours. She sounds a gem. I know she cheated on you etc and thats another issue but she seems to have done the right thing afterwards.

What is more concerning is that you are on anti deps. This is not good and looks like you stepped into another relationship to soon. Its a common mistake. Better to invest some time in yourself to get off these pills and sort yourself out. Anyway good luck. Chris.

  • ahorriblemess
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23 Jan 08 #11651 by ahorriblemess
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I too was in your position as in my x 2 b would not admit to adultery - i was advised by my solicitor that if he did not admit I would be able to divorce him on the grounds of 'unreasonable behaviour which includes having a relationship with another woman that had led me to beleive that he had been unfaithful ! which says it all really doesnt it ! Good Luck

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23 Jan 08 #11654 by ahorriblemess
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I too was in your position as in my x 2 b would not admit to adultery - i was advised by my solicitor that if he did not admit I would be able to divorce him on the grounds of 'unreasonable behaviour which includes having a relationship with another woman that had led me to beleive that he had been unfaithful ! which says it all really doesnt it ! Good Luck

  • fio
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24 Jan 08 #11664 by fio
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Apparently you need photographic evidence to prove adultery, of penetration!!!! So I have been told - so I shall provide my husband with a camera next time and ask him to take some photos. I could make some interesting suggestions about where the camera should be positioned to achieve the requires trajectory as it were!!!!!

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