Hmm........

Hi

I''m looking for suggestions please for hobbies and interests. I''ve been on my own for four years and in that time my children have also flown the nest. So I find myself stuck on the work, eat, sleep treadmill regularly not speaking to anyone after leaving work until I go back the next day. It''s not the healthiest of existences but all my family and friends have partners, children, homes etc. so their hands are more full than mine.
Lack of confidence is also to be factored in.

Any help with ideas would be gratefully received.

Many thanks in advance for your help.

J x

Hi Jane

What sort of interests do you have?

Your local library will have details of lots of different groups and activities, ie reading groups, local history groups, writing groups etc.

Walking groups are a great way to meet other people of all ages - and there are walking groups suitable for all levels of walkers.

Volunteering offers many different opportunities to meet people, learn different skills, try a variety of activities - and means you put something back into society. Volunteering doesn''t mean working in musty charity shops; I do occasional volunteer work at a experimental archaeology site (I give Roman cookery demonstrations).

If you enjoy crafts, then there are usually loads of different craft classes around,places like Hobbycraft often hold classes/meetings, or will have details of other groups/classes locally.

If you feel like learning something new, then evening classes might be for you, your local college will have a prospectus for evening classes, usually available online.

A lot depends on what you like doing and what you would like to do - sometimes learning something new or taking up an interest that perhaps we wouldn''t normally have considered is both challenging and rewarding.

Hi Jayne. I too found myself looking at a blank calendar when my marriage ended. It was terrifying and I remember thinking blimey is this it? Is this my life now?

I didn''t want to accept that outcome for myself. Neither was I particularly happy about walking into a pub and meeting a bunch of strangers either. I felt stuck, alone and frightened for my future.

So here is what I did. I did some research. Found out what was really out there. I was amazed. Night classes, social groups, hobby groups. rock choir in the local village hall you name it. Then I just felt a bit overwhelmed and not sure what I wanted to do.

My advice if confidence is an issue is to go to something that is quite structured at first. Something like a exercise class, evening or weekend class that kind of thing. Something that limits the need for small talk at first, you can get chatting to the person next to you as you are doing whatever the tutor is asking you to do. The advantage of classes is that you get to see the same people each week. In a social group you may not see the same people every week and it takes longer to make connections. You are in good time for the new term too that starts in September. I did many little classes, some like baking or photography have stuck with me and become cherished hobbies.

Then once you have built up confidence with a more structured activity, you could try something like www.spiceuk.com or meetup.com. This will involve meeting others in a similar boat. Spice do holidays and all sorts.

I think to be honest for me I tried many new things. Some I liked, some I didn''t. The key is realistic expectations. It takes a lot of time to build a new social circle and a new social life. Having a sense of your own interests, building those and then meeting people on the way is my best advice. Because if the group or event is disappointing, it doesn''t mean completely wasted time as you got to spend time doing the thing you like to do, for me that might mean I got a great set of pictures even if I didn''t connect with the people in the photography group that time.

Get to know you again and what you like doing with your time. If you like walking, join a walking group. If you like cycling, join a cycling group. I think having something in common helps massively in establishing new connections with people.

See, this is exactly why this here is always the best place to start

Thanks for taking the time to reply, your ideas and suggestions are just what I needed to get me thinking.

I think coffee and Google are the order of the day.

x

Often the advice is to ask yourself what you liked in your younger days - and see if you can pick something like that up again. All the above advice is good too. Hope you find something that is fun. What you are doing is a very positive step for you.

I would like to make a suggestion for a hobby, have you thought about photography. It is a way for you to collect memories as well as an interest that you can take to what ever level that you want. You can do it on your own or you can join clubs, there are so many resources and forums online. I have enjoyed photography for many years now although my current circumstances have diminished my interest slightly although I am sure that my Interest will pick up when I have got through my current situation.

There are so many activities and hobbies available out there though I think that you are thinking along the right lines go for it, perhaps something like underwater basket weaving, can''t remember where I heard of that from. If you are interested in the photography drop me a message and ail be able to point you in the right direction.

Stay strong.