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I Need help in South Wales

  • ross78
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03 Nov 14 #448304 by ross78
Topic started by ross78
Hi all,
I am in the early stages and I need a bit of inspiration for what to do.
I don''t seem to be passionate about anything apart from snooker and skittles which are both male hobbies, I''m 36 been in a relationship for 18 of them years and I haven''t got a clue what to do.
I live in south wales and all I can find to do is a seniors dance club (not me) or Volunteering but my work pattern is sporadic I work a physical job with only men which means I''m physically fit but tired by the time I get home
I know its hard to know as you don''t know me but if anyone got any ideas they would be greatly appreciated



  • blondecazza
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03 Nov 14 #448305 by blondecazza
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Hi Ross

My family are from Aberdare.In most of the valleys there are usually sports centres etc.
What about swimming football or Wales greatest game Rugby.
I understand that you say you are tired but these sports will get you moving again :)

  • polar
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04 Nov 14 #448306 by polar
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Now is the time to get out of your confort zone !!
I would imagine that like most of us you got old and staid. !!! By that I mean get up, go to work, come home ,collapse, in chair, on with tv, go to bed and so on it went.
By the sounds of it your exterior social life consisted of a few pints in the local.

Now is the time to realise that you are on your own with far fewer restrictions .
My routine changed.
Got home and regardless of what I had been doing during the day I got scrubbed up, some decent clothes (ok yeh they were bought at second hand shops) and went back out of the front door. Anywhere.
Where? I scoured newspapers etc. for events from firework displays to car shows.
I challenged myself to do things. Scarey ??? Yep sure as hell it was. Joined a group called SPICE but wasn''t really ready for that and didn''t have enough money. Joined St.Johns ambulance and visited tons of shows free.
Booked a far away holiday all by myself and nobody knows where I went. Did ceroc for a while. Found singles clubs in other towns. Went to wine bars, night clubs..you name it I tried it.
Yep it takes some balls to get out there and find things where you know nobody. You are on your own.
Still challenge myself now. anything from laying new carpets to building a conservatory by myself in 8 days.Yep would have been easier to ask friends to help but I can say ''''I did it by myself''''.
Lack of cash can be a problem. But if you aim high you can achieve anything. As the MA service (money advice service) says. Save £3 a day and you have a grand to play with. You have to have an aim.
Have you ever skied? Have you tried off roading with 4 wheel drive? Have you ridden a segway.? Flown a glider?
Wowcher,KGB,Groupon etc. do taster vouchers cheap for this sort of thing.
now is ME time so think ME ME ME.
There are clubs and societies from beekeeping to pigeon fanciers to stamp collecting to nutters like me with vintage cars.. I did small bore rifle shooting for a while. If you go to a pub with a quiz you can usually find a team who will let you join them.
It got back to me via my daughter and my x said ''''he did what?????? I didn''t think he would do that'''' Maybe not. But then I wasn''t restricted whether I could stay out till 7 in the morning if I could sleep in next day.
I played with going to a new pub in the area without going to the same one twice. I toured some of Europe sleeping in the car.
My house was dead. So make it alive. I never have a day when someone doesn''t pop in. Have a list of old trusted friends and a shed load of new ones. My phone book is full of people I can call if I need to chat .
Surprising thing is 80% of the people I associate with I didn''t know when my x left.
Hard ? You bet it was at times. Ive sat in places and nobody has spoken to me all night. I have been out of my depth in places and had to resist the urge to run. Funnily enough if I sat tight someone I knew vaguely would turn up 10 minutes after I decided to go home. And from those people new contacts came.
I also had what I call BOLT HOLES. Places I could go if my planned activity or date went wrong. These can be your local pub or another mate on his own who doesn''t mind you turning up at 11 o''clock at night for a ''cool'' down.

Do you really want to grow old without experiencing what life has to offer. And every experience you have means that you can talk with a bit of ''''experience'''' about it so it makes you more interesting and often leads to new friends or at least people you can chat to if you bump into them again. And from them a new circle grows.

How many hours in a day are there or weeks in a year....not enough !!!

  • afonleas
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04 Nov 14 #448332 by afonleas
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Hiya Ross,

I also live in S Wales,and when my Tsuanmi kicked off,I also found it difficult.Yes our neck of the woods maybe lovely,but not a lot to do.
Luckily for me I found Wiki,quite early on and quickly made my way into wikichat,and made new friends.
This along with my friends and family at home got me through the worse of times.I ventured on holidays with a fellow wiki,although we had never met,then onwards to wikimeets,and my friendship base expanded.
There are meetup groups around the Cardiff area,and also one based in Caerphilly,I know that they do a variety of things.

As Polar already said,Get out of the comfort zone,yes its hard,but you have to do it.Your young enough to have a fantastic life,just don''t waste it.Find what your good at,we are all gifted in something,in my case,before anyone says it:) Talking...but your good at something....

Look out for a wikimeet in events,I go to quite a few,and as long as you don''t mind a travelling companion old enough to be your mother,you can travel along with me..:laugh:

Just don''t jump into another relationship until your ready,that will only lead you into more heartbreak.

Take care
Afon Xxx

  • hawaythelads
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04 Nov 14 #448358 by hawaythelads
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I always found drinking copious amounts of Stella, internet porn and sky sports package kept me more than entertained.:blink::blink:
All the best
I just enjoyed the ex harridan not kicking off every 5 mins.

  • polar
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04 Nov 14 #448360 by polar
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Does the stella let you watch porn in 3D ?? Lol

  • Declan
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04 Nov 14 #448364 by Declan
Reply from Declan
Hi Ross

Painful Eh . I understand you there fella . Go find your passion .
I found my music ( guitars ) even doing some work at the local hospital radio station that''s so fascinating . It''s opened up opportunities I never thought I would explore production technical . Presenting at the moment .
Basically what I''m trying to say is that inside of you is a great man a strong man with a gift that is yet to be tapped into . Go find him .

Here is a trick take a piece paper fold in half and open up or draw a line down the middle . With your dominant hand write something like hello Ross or whatever your name is then transfer it to your less dominant hand and in the other column write the first thing that pops in your head .

That is the inner you he may not respond he may say sod off then ask why .. I found I''d neglected that boy in me ... Sounds strange I know but try it. ... It''s called mirror work ...
Hang in there you will be ok


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