Thinking ahead

Just to get an idea. Divorced 5 years ago. No financial end to divorce, but now I want to move out of FMH and live with new partner mortgage is still in joint names with ex. Ex has new partner and son I have child from ex husband living with me. I have paid mortgage for 5 years out of 8 we have had it. Prev we cohabited by renting 12 years. Since divorce ex partner has new business and personal assets. Went to mediation after divorce which we were going to go to 50/50 share on the property but I found I could easily afford mortgage on my own so stayed there. About 30k equity in property he has pensions not amounting to a lot. I have sml pension and about £300 of shares. We do not and can not communicate as it ends in rows!
Is his new business and pensions part of the pot? Does it matter who has made most of the mortgage payments?

First reaction is that . if you move out, it means almost certainly that the FMH will be sold and the proceeds split. So are you happy with that ?
As to your making the mortgage payments - well, if you had sole occupation it is reasonable that you should. In fact, if you couldn''t, it is unlikely you would be '' awarded '' the right to stay there.
The fact that you are apparently moving in with a new partner would be a negative factor from your point of view, as it means that your housing needs would be met. But the fact that your ex has a new partner too means ( other things being equal ) that these two factors cancel each other out.
Yes, you could have a claim on his assets but the fact that the new business was started after separation would be relevant and your claim against his pension and other assets is bound to be weaker for this very reason.
Note, by the way, that if your house is in joint names you would not be able to sell it unless he co-operates. On the face of it, there is no reason why he shouldn''t, but you still have to agree the division of the proceeds.
LMM

It was really a short marriage of 3 years as you have been separated for 5.

From that point of view I would have thought that an equitable arrangement would be that you both get a percentage of the three years you were together, he allows you to keep the 5/8ths of the proceeds of the equity for sale.

Let him keep his pension is it worth arguing over 3/8th of the time you were married? Sounds like you want to move on with life and you have no rights to his pension unless you are married so the co-habitation would not count in terms of pension.

Hopefully then he will agree otherwize maybe you have to go to court which is rather silly.

soulruler wrote:

It was really a short marriage of 3 years as you have been separated for 5.

Short marriage maybe but the 12 years of co-hab make it up to a 15 year relationship and there is a child to the relationship too. Makes the length a bit more significant. His housing needs have clearly been met.

Surely best to sort it before moving in with new partner?

Yes I agree the point I am making really is about a claim on his pension when it was a short marriage in effect as they have been separated so long - I know they are still married but he has moved on and she would like to without too much antagonism I would have thought.

I agree it is the right way forward to sort things out before she moves in with new fella but just thinking of a sensible argument, based on what she has said and the other posts.

Before they were married they were in rented so there is no pre-marital assets unless she knows otherwize than the house, his and her income, any maintenence due to either party but their is a way forward as he is co-habiting and she is ready too.

If they can agree finance then hopefully they can get a simple divorce based on 5 years separation without the need to site reasons. Hopefully that way not too difficult and a Consent Order can be sent and sealed by the courts.

Hi All

I really appreciate your feedback. Just to clarify we were married for 13 years sorry I didn''t make it clear. I was having the dilemma of A)Holding out longer for higher share of equity as I still have a child at home of school age or B ) Keeping my sanity and just moving on selling the property and renting my partner who I have been with for a few years Ive already had to fight through the CSA for maintenance and my exes childish and bitter behavior is another reason to end any tie I have to him. We do not speak at all so discussing it isn''t an option.

Its a difficult decision I know for me to make so I really do thank you for your posts.