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entitled and how?

  • Kitsi
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14 Aug 12 #349493 by Kitsi
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Hi

I wonder if anyone knows or can tell me how I can find out what benefits I might be entitked to.
I am 52 and divorcing husband of 42 who has a very good job
There is £200k equity in the house but it will take a long time to sell as its so rural. I put in more money than he did and my sol is asking a 75/25 split.
It is an interest only mortgage si I can repay it and it is not behind.
I do not work now but I am looking for a job at my previous senior level tho hard as I now have elderly parents and we acquired a lot of animals- he just walked out and left me to deal with everything.
He pays £912 a month and the outgiongs even if I am frugal, come to £1400 a month as I was too stunned when he went to realise he had cut it by the figure he needed to rent a new house with.
He has allowe dme £100 A MONTH FOR FOOD AND NOthing else - personal care- loo rols, stamps- nothing/

As HMRC are chasing him for back payment of taxes and deducting it at source from his pay- do they have a stronger call than I do over his money?

I have some savings as I was hit by a car three years aho but by the time I make up the deficit on groceries, running a car and paying day to day bills PLUS all the house paitning which has to be done and re re roofing I won''t have much over £30k left.
I am now really scared as sick of having no money I bought some new suits for interview which totalled £2000 in all- I was FTSE 100 director before and am expected to dress the part/ It helps my comfidence and I am also having to meet my law bills from this money - currently about £20k.
Will the court take a dim view that I have had to use this money for personal expenditure? I have kept all my receiots and paid all the contractors as he refuses to part with a single penny and the house is not saleable due to the fact his DIY projects were just - abandoned like me.
I have lost so much weight- nearly three stone that I HAD to pay some things for interview and basic summer clothes but I am scared to death that I will be challenged over this,
It may be worth telling you that while I was off work with the effects of my accident and the fact I had to have an operation which prevented our having children ever- he did not support me in the financial sense. I went to the job centre and also found a local job on the min wage so I had some money of my own. Yet since he has been gone my sol found out he had salted away at least 316k in bonuses and not told or shared with me. When I earned what I did, I shared everything- it was ''our'' money.
My friends say ''screw him- take him to the cleaners'' but I feel weirdly protective of him even though he has been such a pig.
Can anyone tell me if the court will berate me? Should I just offer him half of what''s left now without even telling my lawyer as that is what his seems to be insinuating I should do?
Thanks
Kits

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14 Aug 12 #349538 by Fiona
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Taking someone to the cleaners is poor advice because it''s likely to backfire and cost you a fortune in legal expenses. Divorce settlements are really just a number crunching exercise to find a way forward that can work for everyone.

You can check out what benefits you might be entitled to at;

www.turn2us.org.uk

If you have had a career gap you might have more success trying to find a job at a lower level, updating your skills and then working your way up over a couple of years.

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14 Aug 12 #349543 by soulruler
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How long were you married and for how long was he salting away money from the marriage and do you have substantial proof?

Welcome to wiki btw

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14 Aug 12 #349545 by Kitsi
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thank you but at 52 working my way up in my industry is laughable

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14 Aug 12 #349547 by Kitsi
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Thanks for the welcome
Married 12, lived together 2 and a half years before that
It was during the last two years he salted money away and yes, we have proof from his bank statements
He sat me down and asked could I cut the household budget for a while so we could save and have a special holiday. I juggled and vut it by oer £600 by swopping energy providers etc etc and banking on only one car- his company car.
He then rented a house with the difference I had saved, hired a lorry and took most of the kicthen with him.
Iy transpired he had actually rented it three days before he had asked me to make cuts.
I supported him through an MBA amd was about to support him though a Phd as his researcher. I am now looking for a job but this is a very rural area and there just aren''t any! So I am writing freelance again and trying ro revuild my reputation as an Executive coach- which is why I had such input into his career.

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14 Aug 12 #349550 by Fiona
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Realistically it''s going to be far more difficult to get a job at the your previous senior level after a career gap than one at a lower level. I know because in my field of work I had to take a drop in pay of 40% after a career gap of just two or three years and worked my way back up. I'' m older than you BTW.

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15 Aug 12 #349577 by soulruler
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The more and more I hear a section 37 is appropriate.

He has been planning his financial exit just like my hideous ex.

If I had had the right legal representation from the start I could have applied for a section 37 because my ex left for my best mate (so she knew what I was doing financially for my husband and my mum) and when ex left he cut me out of the two marital businesses in building - one was a partnership and one was a limited company - I was the only invested member of the limited company and also the company secretary and financial director.

My legal team when we were filling in the finanical E told me not to make too much about him cutting me out and leaving me without a real job as I would look bitter!

I refused to listen and made sure I properly accounted and could prove my investment in the company which had come from my sole work as a B and B propriator.

You sound like a detirmined sort so don''t let him ground you down or let yourself be poorly represented by weak legal teams.

The marital causes act isn''t all that long and complicated and salting away marital assets and planning an exit is basically litigation conduct so you should be going for a big chunk of marital assets.

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