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13 May 09 #115814 by ClimbMountains
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Hi Kat. I don't completely follow some of your post and don't know what an SD is. Its normal for both parties to try to reach whatever agreement/solution they can. At each hearing its normal for people to spend some time trying to reach an agreement before going before the Judge. Often the Judge will explicitly give people more time on the day of a hearing to talk and try to resolve things... Thus if find a solution means one party agreeing to staying contact then that may happen. If some is being advised by their sol that the court will eventually order that anyway its best to agree it than go through the whole process

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13 May 09 #115981 by hadjustaboutenough
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Hiya. SD is step daughter. What i ment is it normal for the other party to offer staying contact to try and prevent cafcass doing full report.
He has asked for a report to be done, as the ex says his daughter had been distressed due to staying contact in the past, which is why it was stopped, on the mothers word.
However she has lied about moving home, their daughter been out of nappies, along with other things which have reduced their contact.
Since we got the medical notes which proves the mother lied on a number of occassions that their daughter was ill, which has prevented contact, he asked for a report from cafcass, the date got moved forward, n within days of the ex getting court date which i presume will have told her why it was moved. she has offered 2 night staying contact when at christmas, she was unwilling to let her stay with her dad for even 1 night.
Sorry if that doesnt make sense either.
Kat xx

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13 May 09 #115990 by ClimbMountains
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Kat its just the process. If someone is uncooperative and stops or reduces contact but is then faced with a court process then the closer that gets the more likely they are to actually propose something reasonable. In one case that my be an extra hour here or there, in another case an extra night and in another case a greater share of holiday time.

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13 May 09 #116033 by hadjustaboutenough
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cheers climbmountains, Cant help but worry after everything. She has been determined to get him out their daughters life. Suddenly from her getting contact down to 3 hours a month from staying contact from a fri/ sat evening, she seems to hv had a chang of heart. Hope all is what it seems. She has continued to reduce contact at every court case in the past, never stuck to a contact order. Just hope she is now thinking of the needs of their daughter and not how to push her dad out at every oportunity.
Thanks for the info xx

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13 May 09 #116037 by ClimbMountains
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If she has not stuck to past contact orders you should have argument to strenghten contact not reduce it. why has contact been reduced in the past.

forgetting the past and current arrangements, what contact would you like? 3hr/month is very little! is there any reason for it being so little? if there is an existing order what does it say? What contact does the order provide? is she complying?

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13 May 09 #116069 by hadjustaboutenough
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Hiya,
The contact order just b4 xmas was over night staying, xmas shuld hv been in our home. We live 300 miles away from his daughter. But yet again the ex wanted to vary the order for the 5th time, said daughter distressed, wetting herself n not sleeping, yet she always came in nappies to us, but she claimed she was toilet trained. This is how the order was reduced from 1nyt staying contact to 2 seperate days.Contact has always been in ex home town Bath, which is very expensive, his ex said that she need to stay close to home incase she was distressed. This is the first time contact was reduced, she changed solicitor, this new 1 is more determined than the last.

The contact order states that if contact not in bath but half way in birmingham (shopping center) It is to be the minimum of 3hours, n my partner pays costs. We already had bought tickets for xmas and jan to bring them half way which was for the previous order.After he lost his job in feb, he could not afford to travel down, ex refused to travel half way. So for december/jan contact was 3 hours in shopping center.
He has now got back into the army n based hour away from Bath, so he gets to see her 1 full day still in Bath.

There is no reason the contact reduced, just ex said their daughter not ready to stay a night away from her mother. we know this is not true she stays at her grandmothers. Has done on the sat after we had her until the sun morn wen we wud collect her for sunday contact.

We have a 14 month old daughter and I have a 9yr old son so idealy we would like contact to be in the family home. We would like to have 2 nyt staying contact, we can only ask for 1 weekend a month as partner is on training n can only deffo be off 1 weekend. He also wants to add a full day sat/sun wen he not off for the full weekend.
We would like contact to build up to holiday time n include something at xmas.
It also states the he can now ring wed/sat to talk to his daughter. Ex very rarly lets her come to the phone n says she is ill. She has suggested that he dont ring anymore, as it is too distressing for her.
Think that about covers it lol
chees kat x

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