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Contact Order not being adhered to..Help!

  • punky2009
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15 Jun 09 #124233 by punky2009
Topic started by punky2009
My husband has a contact order to see his son fri-sun alternate weekends, plus midweek contact for tea and 2 weeks holidays which was issued in 2006(before we were married).

His ex has never really obided by the court order religiously but the child did stay with us for approx 18 months. She then decided that it would be better for my husband to see his son on his own because the child didnt like me.(There was no issue with our relationship and a cafcass officer addressed this complaint from the mother when the first order was issued and simply dismissed it.) However she would not budge so I advised my husband to do as she wanted because otherwise he would not see his son at all. We contacted the court to say the order was not being adhered to and they simply advised us to make a new application to court. We were unable to do this due to our financial situation but were unaware you could represent yourself.
Since attending a FNF meeting we are applying to the court to have the contact order reinstated. I want to know if I too should put my name down as applicant 2 because I know she will say the child doesnt want to come because he doesnt like me.? Would this help our case so that both myself and the child can be assessed?
I have no fear in doing this because I am confident of our relationship status. A child isnt forced to kiss you goodnight nor would they if they "hated you". I believe the mother could not deal with the fact we had a very good relationship so made it difficult for him to stay with us and has now probably poisoined him against his father as well as me.
My husbands ex has a new partner and a new baby! I cant understand why she wont allow him to move on with his fathers new family as he has his mothers. She has also been using a different surname for the child, which is not on his birth certificate(her Maiden Name), changed his school without notifying my husband and threatened to move away with her new partner. She has also stated he wants to adopt my step son which I find terribly worrying as my husband has never stated or acted in a way which may cause her to think he doesnt want to be a part of his life. His csa payments are consistent since the day they parted and will remain that way. But sad that the mother is allowed to withold contact and recieve additional maintenance monies for doing this although a court order is in place!
Any advice would be greately appreciated.

  • TBagpuss
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16 Jun 09 #124529 by TBagpuss
Reply from TBagpuss
There is isn't any need for you to be named as a 2nd application. If there is a further Cafcass report the Cafcass Reporter can meet/speak to you if she feels it is necessary whether you are a party or not.

Your step-son could not be adopted by his step-dad unless your partner gave his consent.(Even then, Judges tend to be unenthusiastic about step-parent adoptions)

Your partner may wish o apply for specific issue orders in relation to his son's name. This should not have been changed without your partner's agreement. However, there is a dfference between a formal change of name and an informal change in the name the child is known by.... If he has been known by the new name for long the court may say it isn't in his interests to change it back, if this is likely to cause him distress or confusion.

Maintenance and contact are separate issues. Maintenace is support for the child, it is not a reward for allowing contant (equally, contact is not a reward for having paid maintenance) so your step-son's mum having reduced or stopped contact is not a good reason not to pay. However, the fact that he has always paid may be a point in your partner's favour as it is a further demonstation of his committment toards his son.

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