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3rd/4th court hearing or stop contact with son?

  • 54321
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17 Jun 09 #124883 by 54321
Topic started by 54321
1st court hearing when contact broke down and could not be agreed by ex in Jan 09. Son is 8

another court hearing end of May 09 when she decided to make contact very difficult or stops it happening. She gives general, silly reasons sometimes, but recently mainly my son is very upset seeing me. Contact had been running on a verbal agreement for over 15 months and has gone from being great to now almost none existant in last 9 months

2nd court date she didn't show up and court ordered CAFCASS report and said that current contact order stays in place.

Since then I have seen my son for 2 hours. Every night before contact is due I get a message from my son saying he does not want to see me. The reasons, if he gives any are very vague. Whenever we have been together he has been happy and normal. Solicitors have recently written to her informing her that contact order from Feb still stands and that I must be allowed to see son. We have got back a letter saying that she will not force son to see me, will not tell me why he is upset at seeing me and will only tell CAFCASS.

My sols say I should return it to court so that she can be told that he must see me. I'm worried about the effect this could be having on my son. Would it be easier just to stop contact with them until the cafcass report and wait until it goes back to court?

I am one of these dads that has never put a foot wrong with the care of our son and just wants to be able to see him.

Do I just walk away until the Cafcass report and next hearing is done and hope that it will be proved that everything that is being said and done is being done by the ex out of spite?

  • D L
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27 Jun 09 #127213 by D L
Reply from D L
Hi there, sorry you have waited so long for your response.

I would suggest that you at least consider keeping up your contact, or at least keep trying to keep up your contact. Your son is likely to be confused and very aware that he is stuck in the middle of something that he doesn't quite understand, and just knowing dad is there somewhere is likely to help him on some level. He is likely to become more confused if dad suddenely disappears while a stranger is asking him questions about dad and seeing him.


  • estranged_father
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30 Jun 09 #127796 by estranged_father
Reply from estranged_father
You may want to suggest a contact centre or a place your son is familiar with - maybe his local park, play centre etc. It will only be in the interim and it is crucial you dont breakdown contact as this may reflect badly on you - never give up, your son will thank you one day!

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