A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
17 Oct 09 #155108 by mumtoboys
Topic started by mumtoboys
Have been ordered by judge to produce a statement on why the current status quo of childcare should be changed.

Is anyone willing to share their statement with me as I have no real idea of where to start with this and I am fast running out of money to pay the solicitor to support me with these things! I was taken aside by the CAFCASS officer in court yesterday who told me to make sure I was child focused (reading between the lines, perhaps I had been overtly angry at stbx and girlfriend so I am going to have to curb this). I have friends who are willing to help me with the statement when I have the thing written, but I would really appreciate some help with getting started!


  • NellNoRegrets
  • NellNoRegrets's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
17 Oct 09 #155157 by NellNoRegrets
Reply from NellNoRegrets
I hope someone who has been through this can help Mumtoboys, but I guess to start you off you might want to list the points that you think show the detrimental effects the boys are showing - ie being clingy, not doing well at school, being unsettled, etc. I'd put in the alarming tales about soft toy threats etc, but in a non-accusing way, just a way of showing your children's emotional distress and confusion.

  • Forseti
  • Forseti's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
17 Oct 09 #155162 by Forseti
Reply from Forseti
I suppose it depends a bit on why you want to change the status quo. If you can convince everyone here, you will probably convince the court!

Start with the welfare checklist and try to tie it in as much as possible with your own case. Concentrate only on what is in the best interests of the children and leave out any reference to your own feelings. Keep the statement short and to the point and guide the juge to the important factors, bearing in mind he or she may well not read beyond the first page. I assume you know about the format and how to present it, etc.

Could this site not build up a library of sample statements, affidavits, completed forms, etc to help people in these cases?

  • mummybear38
  • mummybear38's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
17 Oct 09 #155168 by mummybear38
Reply from mummybear38
Hi mumto,

Good points already made here and in an attempt to help you further suggest the following:

Start with the background i.e. how the current arrangements came about.

Make a list of facts that you believe demonstrate that the current contact is not working in the best interests of the boys, pooh gate, smacking, behaviour at home, attitude at school. Can you recall your boys own words regarding these matters?

Do any of your email exchanges demonstrate that dad isn't understanding your boys' feelings and wishes ? if so these will need to be exhibited with the statement too.

The whole moving house without telling you scenario again demonstrates that your husband behaves irresponsibly and with a total lack of regard for the impact on the children who are used to regular telephone contact with you whilst they are in their dad's care.

Back this up with observations about the facts if that makes sense for example with regard to pooh - the attachment of your son to pooh is a fact and the observation would be that he no longer wants to take pooh with him to dads.

Set out clearly how you would like contact to be conducted in future i.e. alternate weekends and maybe one evening in the week (just a suggestion you know your boys best in that regard) and how you will support and facilitate the contact. Is it the case that dad isn't actually around for long periods during the current contact and that his girlfriend is providing care (cough splutter choke)?

I suppose the stinger here is baby mumto, is your husband actually seeking contact with baby mumto and in these early days how is that going to be best facilitated i.e. regular short periods of contact.

  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
18 Oct 09 #155251 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
thanks for your replies - the welfare checklist is very useful and should help keep the ranting on the right track! I made a start last night - I have a month so plenty of time to mull over and refine and refine again. I may well post the final result or PM to anyone who is interestred/willing to help as I am keen to get this as 'right' as possible.

I would be grateful for anyone else's thoughts and experiences.
Thanks again.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.