nbm1708 - Great post.
Perhaps I should reiterate that I have never been given any form of "caution" by the Police. I was sent a standard letter to say that no action would be taken on either side etc.
Your last paragraph sums up perfectly the current position. My two boy's have consistently told their Mum what they think about her actions and their views on contact. I fear she is in for a very rude awakening but I do intend to protect myself and the boy's with all the resources I can muster. Right now it's about their stability, routine and well-being which is with me. At 16 I am sure they may have other thoughts and considerations but until then I will fight mine and their corner.
It's such a pity my ex does not see it that way.
As long as you have something in black and white from the police to use in evidence for your case that's fine as your word would not be enough if an allegation is made. I had no cautions or anything against me however that one mistake made by the police could
have have made a substantial amount of difference if my ex hadn't already given me all the other hard copy evidence stating that she would not allow any telephone contact with our son.
You have to remember people lie and the courts are used to this which is why the court would, even if you had done it, expect you to deny it anyway and is why the actual evidence gives you the edge. You don't always get the chance to say hang on a minute I'll just get a letter from the police proving I'm telling the truth, it becomes what is there at that time.
Your other problem is -
"but I do intend to protect myself and the boy's with all the resources I can muster"
"At 16 I am sure they may have other thoughts and considerations but until then I will fight mine and their corner".
Whilst I fully appreciate you are probably doing this for the childrens best interests etc you have to stand out from every single mother who has gone through court and denied contact because she claims she is defending her child against someone whose only crime was in fact to leave her for another woman. The courts are inundated with this type of case and that's why they are looking to crack down on them because they're approaching meltdown.
Harsh fact is if you were a woman with that response and your ex was a man then the courts would give an interim court order of more than once a month to your ex and ask CAFCASS to prepare a report and look at reconcilliation meetings between your ex and the children with or without you as the case worker sees fit.
The reason my ex's residence order was resinded and the contact order dismissed when our oldest children were 14 was because I listened to what I was told and took a step back for the better and let our son make it clear.
I let it become clear that that all I was doing was in fact providing somewhere safe for our son to stay when he made his feelings clear that he would not stay with his mother and would rather live on the streets than be there. That all the wishes and feeling of the children were their own and that I had no influence. I let the children have a clear voice to the court.
Going in with claims of using all your resources and defending them etc may in fact work against you not for you as YOU
may be seen to be a problem.
Your ex is doing nothing that hasn't been done a thousand times before and the courts have seen it before. The only difference is that it's a mother wanting contact and not having it.
The application of residence and contact is because like all negotiations you have to start high and then meet in the middle. The residence order will be dropped and the contact allowed.
The norm is usually alternate weekends and half school holidays unless some other factor other than your ex having left you for someone else kicks in.