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Advice on writing to the judge

  • NickT
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17 Nov 09 #162777 by NickT
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I've not seen my daughter since february. A wishes and feelings report in late October revealed that she would like to begin having contact with me again.

The court implemented an informal two hour contact which did not occur with my ex saying my daughter had changed her mind!

Sadly my ex wife has fought this all the way and bombarded my solicitor with 5 letters from her legal rep, the CAFCASS officer with three letters, my daughter's pschologist with two letters and three letters to the judge, which include inflammatory lies designed to discredit me.

My solicitor has advised me to write a response to the judge or my silence will be used against me BUT I want to rise above all the lies and simply point out what manipulation is going on...but I really don't know where to start with my letter...any thoughts would be most welcome.

  • Elle
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17 Nov 09 #162790 by Elle
Reply from Elle

I am not familiar with child court but have experienced being shut out of my childrens lifes...its henious and I do truly empathise with you.

How old is your daughter?

There are many Dads here whom have experienced and fought this type of scenario...some successful some not....you are not alone..these guys will rear their heads and help/support/direct you...as will many others here with their knowledge and experience.

In the interim I will seek out some possible relevant posts and pm them to you whilst you wait... take care.


  • Elle
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17 Nov 09 #162792 by Elle
Reply from Elle

regards writing to the judge...nothing ventured nothing gained, you dont ask you dont get and all that ....but do not slate the ex or be hostile..no mean task!!


  • MissingMySon2009
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20 Nov 09 #163710 by MissingMySon2009
Reply from MissingMySon2009

I'm writing a letter to a District Judge at the moment. In my case the solicitor for the mother refused service for the section 8 application (not very professional but not against the rules) but then sought to intimidate me. Anyway the details of my situation are not what you are looking for...

What I have been told is that the letter needs to be short as the Court is under a lot of time pressure. So the letter should be 4 pages at most but 1-2 pages if possible.

My approach has been to write doen eveything that I might want to say, then go back and start whittling it down to the main points.

You need to stay child focused, do not slag off the mother, try to be factual. Refer to any reports, e.g. from the psychologist, stating that contact will be benefical to your child. The Court always likes you to say that you want to fully co-operate with the Court and CAFCASS, and that the best interests of the child are your main concern.

If informal contact has been ordered but your wife did not allow it then perhaps you should ask the Court for an order with a penal notice attached. Not only does this put the pressure on the mother to allow you to see your daughter, but it also removes any feelings she might have that she is going against her mother if she sees you: The Court order means that she has no choice but to see you, so to speak.

Whatever you write, make sure you get a few people to read it and give you honest feedback.

If your solicitor has told you to write this letter then why hasn't your solicitor given you some guidance on what to write?

Finally, I joined Families Need Fathers for £32 a year and that is helping me a lot with manageing my case.


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