Ex doesnt like CAFCASS recommendation.

I have applied for a 'leave to remove from the jurisdiction' order, and my ex and I both got the CAFCASS report last week which recommends that I do move with my children. This was largely (I think) based on the fact the children said they wanted to move.

I have now got a letter from my ex saying he is very concerned that our youngest son has a severe stammer and that I recently had to tell our eldest son off for lighting a match in the bathroom. He says he wants them both taken to a doctor immediately, and in the case of the oldest boy he wants a psychological assessment of his 'disturbing behaviour'!
For goodness sake, anyone would think he had tried to burn his school down. I told him off because I was worried in case he accidentally started a fire, but he is 12, and what child hasnt lit a match by then?? As for the stammer, it isnt severe and I have spoken to his teacher who will see if one of the teachers at the school can help. I stammered myself for years and know that stress makes it worse, so of course my ex is saying these problems have only started since the breakdown of our marriage and my desire to 'drag' the children to America.

He has also sent copies of the letter to my solicitor (he is self repping) and to CAFCASS! My sol told me not to worry, he is only trying to make mischief because he didnt like the report, but I am worried. Should I be? Will CAFCASS want to see us again or is their involvement largely done now as the report has been submitted.

Any advice/comments greatly appreciated as ever. x

I think any parent in his position would try anything to stop his children being removed from the country. Should you be worried? It depends what things concern you. I would be filled with anxiety and remorse, but that's me.

This sounds like a last ditch attempt to curry favour with the CAFCASS officer.

The Court does not appreciate a parent subjecting children to needless medical examinations. You can of course refuse to make the children available but you should take advice from a solicitor on this issue.

CAFCASS is satisfied that you are acting in the childrens' best interests and the Court is likely to see through your ex's ruse when making an order in your favour.

Charles

Zonked, yes I am filled with anxiety, but its not for my ex, because he sure as hell hasnt shown any concern for me or the children in the past. And as for remorse, I'm just sorry I didnt leave him earlier. Please dont try and make me feel bad for wanting to give my children a better future.

Charles, you said much the same as my sol. CAFCASS spoke to all of us and were satisfied, so my ex will just have to accept the situation. I wish he could talk with me about contact and access so we could get a good plan together instead of trying to do this though. Many thanks for the reply.

As I say, different things would trouble different people.

Anyway, your acting on your children's 'wishes' and the ex is a very bad person - so looks like a guilt free move is on the cards. Well done.

I didnt say my ex was a very bad person, but he is a selfish one. I dont know your situation, but I'm sure you wouldnt let your children sit in a freezing cold house with no food, as we have done. However, he is their father, and at the end of the day all I want is the freedom to move. I will never stop my ex seeing the boys, and would much rather be discussing the best way forward with him.

I hope things work out for you as well.

I think Zonked has a point, though it may not be a welcome one.

The reality is that fathers have a better than even chance that they will lose all contact with their children once a leave to remove application is granted, whatever the applicant may say before leave is granted about supporting contact.

This father may be grasping at straws to hang on to his children, but you can hardly blame him.