Do I need a Barrister or just a Solicitor?

I'm nearing the final stages of a Residency application and don't know what to do next.

I left my ex in 2006 as he was physically assaulting me and moved into a rented flat 5 mins walk away from FMH. I wasn't in a financial position to take the children with me, so they remained at the house, but I collected them from the childminder everyday after work and stayed in the FMH with them until I had put them to bed. They stayed with me overnight at weekends and school hols. After 6 months, I rented a small 2 bed house,children did have to share a bedroom, but were more settled when they stayed, which was more often as Ex H realised he could come & go as he pleased as I was always there for the children. I started divorce proceedings on unreasonable behaviour in 2007, but he refused to proceed and I couldn't afford a contested basis, so had to wait til 2008 for 2 years separation. Chldren were too-ing and fro-ing between houses in this time, although we had come to an alternate weekend agreement.

I met a new partner and end of 2007 and we moved into a bigger (still rented) house, where the children could now have their own bedrooms. My daughter was by now 11, so it was important. In may 2008 I had got a local job and was now collecting the children from school 4-5 days a week. As I had 6am starts most days, the children couldn't stay over, so Ex collected them from my house (after I had done homework, fed them etc) to go back to FMH to sleep. His mother (recently moved into area)took them to school in the mornings.

I wanted to agree a routine of which days we had the children, because to be honest, I was feeling used (I have never had a penny off him to this day since we split) and the children never knew where they were from one day to the next. I suggested a 50/50 split of care over a 2 week period, which he refused, then he suggested he had the children permanently, my daughter (now at senior school) could walk back to his mum's house and I could see my son 2 evenings a week! He refused mediation, so I lodged a Residence application. I ahd also secured a permanant job in a local school, so was now able to be available for the children at all times.

We have been to court 3 times now. An initial conciliation appt, a follow up and a pre-trial hearing yesterday.The children have also met with a CAFCAS officer. I have self-repped at these meetings but have been felt bullied and press-ganged into decisions I don't agree with.

Meanwhile my 13 year old daughter has got in with a group at school, who I don't approve of and doesn't want to come to my house during the week (as she gets away with murder under her granny's care)who looks after her as exH doesn't get home until 7pm. So for last 9 months, I collect & deliver son to school 3 or 4 times a week and have both children on alternate weekends. CAFCASS officer recommended I have residence of son, Exh of daughter.

At court yesterday, Ex told Judge that he had always been there for the children, I was an unsettling influence and he wanted residence of daughter and shared residence of son. Ex also disagreed with CAFCASS report and wants to call them into court to justify the decision. Judge didn't seem concerned that my son had stated he wanted to live with me but still see daddy sometimes and seemed hell-bent of Ex having a 50/50 share of my son's time, even though ex would rely on his mum to provide the care!
I could end up not seeing my son for 7 days and my daughter (as now) for 10 days at a time, while Ex leaves them with his mum as hes working full time!!

How can this happen?? All I wanted was stability and now I could lose my children completely.

Questions: What happens at this final hearing? It's scheduled for a whole day on 3rd March.

Will any background info be brought up? Ex and his solicitor seem to gloss over the past with ease and make out I abandoned the children.

Do CAFCAS have any real bearing on the outcome?

What does a Barister do that a solcictor can't?

How much will all this cost?

Sorry to rant on, but I'm breaking my heart over this.

(((big hugs))) just bumping up this post hoping someone can give you some advice x

Hi at the final hearing both parties and CAFCASS officer will be questioned by both parties solicitors. If you are self reppin you will have to prepare and ask your own questions to your ex and cafcass officer, you can take someone into court with you to take notes for you.

Have you been asked to submit a statment to the court before the final hearing? as this is pretty normal so check if your not sure. if your not sure what to put in it start a new thread as you will get advice on what to include in it.

in my experience our barrister was alot more experienced than our solicitor and was great at questioning the relevant people on the stand.

you need a good idea of what you want to achieve at the hearing with regards to shared care. exact times days of contact, drop offs and pick ups, holidays, xmas, birthdays etc.

can you get any statements from schools on how well you comunicte with them on your childrens progress and your input into their schooling? this would be good as evidence.

hope this helps

oops forgot to ask do you have any evidence of the physical assault you can submit to the court.

police records of them being called out
doctors or hospital notes
emails, texts, vocie messages

Hi
Thanks Saffron and Rachelcefai

As regards the assaults, I did call the police 3 times, but didn't press charges. The only thing I had to prove I had called them out was a letter from them suggesting I contact a domestic violence unit, but I'm not sure if I still have that letter as I have moved.

We did both submit statements to the court - his was a month late - where we werew asked to state the current position, what we wanted to change and how our changes would benefit the children.

I went into great detail and was careful not to ***** ExH off. I acknowledged I had had difficulties with my daughter and also acknowledged my original application (for full residence of both children) would not be practical now and suggested a compromise. His statement said I had left the chldren with him, was now trying to alter arrangements with no concern for anybody else and wanted the situation to stay as it was now. It didn't address the questions asked, but Judge didn't seems to mind that!

ExH, I think wants to keep control of the children so he will not have to pay any money towards upkeep if son stays with me and so it will make it harder for me to insist the FMH is sold (which I think is best for everyone to move on).

My only concern is that the children are not piggy in the middle of his control games.

How do I go about getting a barrister or even just speaking to one? I only have a couple of weeks!

If you contact your local police head quarters you can request a copy of your police records, it cost about 10quid, also if you exlpain you need it for a child court case they will get it to you quite quickly.

I am not sure how you get a barrister as ours was arranged through our solicitors. But if you google local family law chambers in your area you should come up with something.

good luck

If you are not receiving Legal aid, I would go with a barrister.

IME, they work on a fixed cost, whereas a sol will charge travel time, waiting time etc etc. For a half day, the barrister will almost certainly work out cheaper.

At my last hearing my barrister was outstanding, and collared the other side for a good hour or so afterwards on the basis that as I'd already paid her fees, anything she could sort there and then wouldn't cost any more, and would save fortunes compared to letting the sols bill us £100 a time throwing letters back and forth clarifiying points from the previous bloody letter ad infinitum.