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16 Feb 10 #185794 by tom333
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Actually here's an idea,
Coudn't Wiki create a "ripping into" section where folk can beat others with a verbal stick?
I mean, some people need to be told in no uncertain terms when they are wrong, otherwise they just don't get the message.
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  • Shezi
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16 Feb 10 #185809 by Shezi
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Shezi wrote:

tom333 wrote:

Krth,
I am currently on a warning from the admin of this site,otherwise I would be now ripping into you.


It's never a good idea to 'rip' into people. We are a support site. If you feel you cannot support - don't! It's a choice and everyone is free to choose. Challenge / debate / disagree.... no problem. But no ripping into :)

tom333 wrote:

So instead I had a cuppa and thought about my reply.


That's all we ask.... we even supply the tea (courtesy of Tets) ;)


Shezi


It isn't the telling Tom... it's how it's told :D

Shezi
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16 Feb 10 #185865 by Forseti
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I appreciate that this is a support site, but I'm sure we would all agree that parents sometimes do - or plan - things which are not in their children's best interests.

It seems fair that posters should point out the pitfalls of such decisions, and that they should consider themselves to be helping the children if not the parents - that is, after all, what the courts are meant to do. If you don't like a posting don't read it.

It also seems fair to me that we try to help others avoid the mistakes we may have made. I haven't seen my son in 7 years and don't expect to again. If I can help someone else avoid that outcome - which I think I am under a moral obligation to do - I will do so even if it means being less than gentle to get the message home. If we weren't all both passionate and compassionate we wouldn't be here at all.

Nobody thinks it will happen to them or to their family; sometimes it takes a big stick to make them see sense.
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16 Feb 10 #185869 by Shezi
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Couldn't have put it better forseti - thank you :)

I seem to remember you were going to write something for Wikizine from a male perspective?

Shezi
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16 Feb 10 #185876 by Fiona
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I think the point is WV is a website, not a court, and there are ways of getting messages across without being disrespectful. Posters being critical and judgmental will just be met with resentment or resistance - self-righteousness alienates others and is often a shaky unstable prop for one's ego whenever "wrong" ideas/ people/ actions are in view.

The problem with beating up others with a verbal stick is at best it drives the poster away so the opportunity for them to consider another perspective is lost, and at worst it encourages the sort of infighting that has led to other sites disbanding eg F4J and Parents Centre.
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