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  • Darnoo001
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16 Feb 10 #185830 by Darnoo001
Topic started by Darnoo001
Hello all, just had second hearing, this time with a solicitor "much better" had a offer of 1 night each week and every other weekend from friday till school monday, I went back with 1 night before my weekend and 2 nights in thw week when I dont have a weekend. Still a short fall of the contact I have had over the past years. So now its down to written statments, Does anyone have some advise on how is best to approuch this, would like to keep things basic but with a true reflection of the past and looking to the furture. Thanks

  • TBagpuss
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17 Feb 10 #186161 by TBagpuss
Reply from TBagpuss
If I have undestood correctly, you and your ex have come very close to an agreement - the difference appears to be 1 night per fortnight.

While I appreciate how difficult it is when you are not seeing your childnre as muchas you want to, is it worth the stress (and potential to further poison the relationship between you and your ex) for the sake of 26 days a year?

Have you considered suggesting that you accept her proposal with a reveiw (back at court, if need be) after 3 or 6 months, to see how things are going?

If not, in your statement you should focus on the specific advantages / benefots to the children of what you are proposing, set out very clearly exactly what it is you want the judge to order.

If this is a return to an earlier pattern of contact than it is worth setting out what that original pattern was.

It is not generally very useful to focus on details of who did/said what or whose fault it was, so keep those fairly brief - the court is looking at what will work in future, not what happened in the past.

If you have previously filed a statement than your enew statment should be limited to dealing with anything which has changed since the old statement, and setting out your current proposals.

If your ex gave specific reasons why she didn't think your proposals were suitable, then respond in your statement to those - e.g. if the objection is that the childnre have after school activities, you need to be clear as to whether you are willing and able to take responsibility for collecting the children from these if they are on 'your' night, making sure they have the right kit etc.
if she objects becasue she is concerned the children won't do their homework, suggest a homework or contact book to keep track of what is due, and make clear that you will ensure that the childrne do their homework / reading /eat their greens on the days they are with you.

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