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Cafcass \"co-ercing\" the children - saw them alone?

  • paula1234
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17 Feb 10 #186038 by paula1234
Reply from paula1234
So long as this is normal then it is fine - like I said, I don't know what the procedure is or what is normal in this situation so just was seeking a bit of friendly clarification.

Am I "dead set" against contact????? As contact is the right of the children I want them to have access to that right and to exercise it a) if they want to either now or in the future b)if they can be kept safe whilst it happens

Thanks mumtoboys - a balanced answer with no presumption that has been very helpful. Maybe I have been quick to jump onto things the children said that she had said/done with them.
I agree that children are very resilient - mine have demonstrated just how true that is - my eldest has come through some very horrific experiences to be a confident girl who is unrecognisable now. She has been so brave when interviewed by police/social services - WITHOUT me there I might add so she doesn't just say things to protect me. If she did, I don't think she would ever have opened up to me in the first place about stuff that quite frankly, I would rather not have known and she saw how upset I was when she told me.

  • paula1234
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17 Feb 10 #186039 by paula1234
Reply from paula1234
Thanks NBM - you said "I'd concentrate more on working through the reasons why and helping them through it."

And we have done just that - and still are doing with the help and support of professionals.

"As CAFCASS usually are on the side of resident mothers rather than fathers (in my experience before anyone jumps on me)I would have thought you'd be more than happy with them as they'll work fully with you if you let them.


I don't want them to be on anyone's side other than the children's - and that is how it should be.

  • tom333
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17 Feb 10 #186095 by tom333
Reply from tom333
Hi paula,
When I attended the CAFCASS office and the ex brought my daughter they took both me and my daughter into the room.
After a few minutes the officer said she need to leave the room for a few mins but she was actually gone for about half an hour.

I played with my daughter as normal using some of the toys in the room, had some nice hugs and cuddles and just a couple of minutes before the officer re-entered the room I noticed a very small camera on the wall overhead a bookcase.
I assumed she was in another room watching and probably listening to how my daughter and I interacted.
I would also assume that the footage would be recorded.
Maybe the session involving your daughters was.

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