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stbx has cancelled court contact

  • reann
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04 Mar 10 #190145 by reann
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over the last few weeks my stbx has informed my sol that he does not want to go to court re contact with our child, giving a very flimsy exuse, what is likly to happen, i was very keen to go to court as CAFCASS were to be involved and i truly welcomed this,it was my stbx that brought the prossedings, what will happen,will it go ahead without him. or is that it,as i am very sad as i know the order when made would be good for our child . thanks in advance.

  • zonked
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04 Mar 10 #190150 by zonked
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For whatever reason perhaps your ex can't see light at the end of the tunnel and has decided to throw in his cards. Many do, fighting for contact takes its toll.

The court was goung to make an order that would have been good for your child? I assume a contact order. So why don't you just offer this level of contact and see how it goes? If you are sincere in a wish for your child to have a father you don't need a Judge to order you to make him/her 'available for contact'.

  • chris75
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05 Mar 10 #190159 by chris75
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When you say that the order would have been good for your child, do you mean that you wished the father to have less contact with his child and would that have been a good thing?
I agree that it does sound like he may have given up hope of obtaining a favourable outcome and just backed down.

  • Ursa Major
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05 Mar 10 #190161 by Ursa Major
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I think you need to clarify your situation if you want honest and considered opinions on why your ex has done this.

I have read your earlier posts and it would appear that your ex left you and your son for another woman , although he was not honest about that at the time. He has been difficult about providing CM or MPS and has been unhelpful in providing details of his finances to both you and the CSA.

Additionally he is unpleasant harassing you by text and e-mail and threatening nonsense, e.g. he is going to cross Petition for divorce even though you already have a Nisi, that he is going to sell the house out from under you etc.

It would appear that he was having contact but one week you changed the day from Sat to Sun (you don't say why so I cannot comment on whether that was a reasonable thing to do) but it aggreived him so much he stated he would not fall in with your plans and would arrange contact via the court. You had a meeting with Cafcass nearly four weeks ago, and therefore presumably so did he.

What was the "flimsy excuse" he used, and did he mean he did not want to make arrangements through the court at all, or he could not make court on that particular date?

What, if any, contact does he have with your son?

What have you done to facilitate contact since he was unable to make the arrangement that you changed at short notice/ threw his toys out of the pram because he could not get his own way? As you can see I imagine he views it one way and you the other, and I said above, without knowing the reason, and notice of the change, it is impossible to say if your changing the day was unreasonable and he was right to seek a formal contact order, or if he was having a little strop because he could not get his own way!

  • reann
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05 Mar 10 #190300 by reann
Reply from reann
thank you all for your replys, i can not say to much on the board, other than to say i have real concerns,and i want my son to be safe, i cant say much more than that, but i saw CAFCASS as a way to secure this safty for him,i understand how dads on the board feel,i know a lot of ex wifes use the children to get at their exs,i love my son to much for this,so i will leave it at that, but belive me,he took me to court for no other reason than to push me,were my childs safty is concerned i am sorry i will not budge on that,all i can say he did not try very hard,

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