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FINAL HEARING

  • Darnoo001
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15 Mar 10 #191966 by Darnoo001
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Hello all, Well its just around the corner now, whether or not its the final hearing I hope to again a suitable amount of contact with my daughter, The story is, contact was good, Ive relocated to be closer to my daughter due to her starting school, mum gave me a huge amount of contact,and after 18months of around 50/50 care the good old csa reduce her monthly payment! all hell broke loose, mum reduce contact to 3 hrs on a tuesday week 1 & 3 hrs on a hursday week 2. plus every other weekend, this was weeks after she told the csa i had shared care.
My question is.. what is a reasonable amount of father daughter contact, what are the likely outcomes at the final hearing.I feel that mum is trying to paint a picture that shows me as some sort of head case, allowing 3hrs mid week contact.
is wrong, the other thing is if she call or texts me and asks for me to collect our daughter from the child minders, I always ask if she can stop over, and for the first time in years Ive said NO, unfortunatly she then stop my 3hrs mid week. Any help or advise!:(

  • Gershie
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16 Mar 10 #192117 by Gershie
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Hi Darnoo001

I know very little about your case so can't predict the outcome. However, If you can sustain 50:50 and were getting it up until the CSA got involved then go for it.

The court will not like the fact that contact was witheld as a financial consequence.

You deserve credit for the relocation.

Gershie

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16 Mar 10 #192119 by Darnoo001
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Thanks for that, me and the ex parted back in 06, never married, so I moved back south, I would return to the north east every 4th or 5th week and collect my daughter,drive back do the south (round trip of 500miles)i would have her from friday until the following sunday afternoon,9 night! drive back to the north east and then home, Done this for two and half years until my daughter started school sept 08, me and mum agreed that a return would be good for our daughter, so I moved back oct 08, oct 08 until Nov 09 was fab, and like i said 50/50 contact sometime I would have her more. So shot my self in the foot, by contacting the csa and providing details of the shared care mum had NO choice and agreed. but now she has the upper hand, removed contact and offers only what she wants and when she wants, If i refuse I lose out...And they say the courts and CSA have No Ties...

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16 Mar 10 #192124 by Gershie
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Well done mate... You have my respect.

Again, I dont know much about your case, but on your past record you should have no problem getting your 50:50 if you can sustain it. It can be very tiring especially without any support but you get through it and it is worth every minute.

Come up with a plan for the court. My arrangement is Monday to Monday. We exchange at school without any real problems. You can add a Thursday night in on the week you are without to break the week up, but that can have repercussions with school work. Holidays are split 50:50 with alternate Christmas.

CSA is a differnt kettle of fish. They do not recognise 50:50 Shared Parenting, nor do HMRC. It all depends on who gets the Child Benefit and I presume the ex gets that now. HMRC will not change it over to you unless you get more than 50:50.

Having the Child Benefit is the meal ticket. Even if you get 50:50 nobody outside the court from benefits or Tax will recognise that you are a parent, simply because you don't get the Child benefit. So CSA can make you pay maintenance but at a reduced rate (one seventh I think).

So go for it, I wish you all the best, on your track record so far you deserve it.

If there is anything else I can do then please contact me.

Gershie

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16 Mar 10 #192131 by Darnoo001
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Thanks for the kind comments, Its not been easy over the last few months, and made neven harder when I tried to stick to my guns, In that I mean, she set out the new rules back in november, 3hrs contact and every other weekend, so last week when she texted and asked if I could collect our daughter (She was running late)I ask if I could have her over night, (A). no so I declined, hurts me not to see my daughter, but just feel that shes taking the pxxs. unfortunatly I lost out on the following friday, where she stopped contact again, just starnge that she is doing this a week before we go back to court, Final hearing.

On another note, Ive submitted my statment and my sol has not heard anything back regarding her statment, with only a week or so to go I assume she may be delaying things, like she did when she didnt attend mediation, as actioned at first hearing. Said she had work commitments when we attended second hearing, I felt like saying what comes first your work or our child!

Ive asked for thu to thu, collecting from school and returning to school, or 2 nights each week and every other weekend, shared holidays etc,etc...

can i ask how long did it take for you to get you shared contact, was it a uphill battle.

Fingers crossed.

and thanks daz

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