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OMG! I'm shocked,don't know what to do now

  • marky27
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25 Mar 10 #194189 by marky27
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Hi guys,

Thanks for all you help so far.

Quick update, I received some info from court and ex' solicitor and it seems that the court have order a social service report on ex's other child and then Cafcass have to meet with us both (seperatly) and we go back to court in June for a review, I think.
I may of mis-understood at hearing as a section was discussed but I didn't understand half what was being said it was worded in Law language!

I can only hope they receive the right info considering I am not allowed to see it!

Can't see how I am so suppose to defend my case when I have very little idea of what info is put forward?

  • missisie
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25 Mar 10 #194196 by missisie
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Hey Marky,

Don't blame yourself at all for this situation, your ex clearly did this for some bazzar reasons that only he understands. You have done nothing wrong, you thought he had changed and thought it would be nice for them to estalish a relationship, you could of not known about those recent events, unless of course your completley pyschic!

You did what you thought was right at the time, good thing is now you know the truth as will the court at some point soon.

You may not understand all the jargon, but there are many people on here that do.

It sounds like SECTION 7 was order at your hearing which orders either CAFCASS or social services report, they can order a SECTION 47 but this would only be ordered at a later date depending on what the section 7 reveals in your case.

Once the report comes back from social services it normally goes to Cafcass and a copy filed to the judge and all other parties, you & your ex. However under the Data Protection Act your not likley to receive a copy of the social services report it self.

I have self-repp and I am now legally represented but it has not been usefull or sucessfull, but I have been unlikley, nonetheless it has not stopped me from posting on here.

Anything at all that you don't understand keep posting, there are very good and skilled members on here that will defo be able to help!

  • TBagpuss
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25 Mar 10 #194204 by TBagpuss
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This must all have been a huge shock to you.

I agree that if the concerns were around neglect of his other child it is unlikely that there will be a risk to your daughter, if she only sees him for 4 hours at a time, as it is generally more long term. Also, although the Social Worker is limited in what she can disclosure to you, due to confidentiality, if she felt that there was a risk to your daughter in contact continuing it is likely that she would have advised you to stop contact and apply back to court, and indeed the Judge could have made an order 'of his/her own motion' to suspend contact.

Your daughter may well benefit from contact with her dad, even if he would not be able to care for her full-time (which sounds to have been the issue with his other child) it's also worth bearing in mind that from what you say about the background, it looks as though there were concerns about neglect of a (presumably) very young child, at a time when he had just lost his partner – he may well have been grieving / suffering from depression / inexperienced and unable to cope for those reasons – but having been unable as a single person to care properly for a 2 year old doesn’t necessarily mean that he is now unable to look after or behave appropriately with a 7 year old, especially as he now has a partner again.

Of course, it would have been better if he had told you, but it may be that he felt it wasn’t relevant because it was (in his mind) a case of being unable to cope and accepting help, rather than anything else.

Is it worth arranging a meeting with him so you can ask him for more details? The social worker can’t go into detail but there is no reason why he can’t give you an explanation about what happened and what he has changed in his life since then, to show he is now able to provide suitable care for your daughter when she visits.

Just one very quick question - I noticed that you mentioned your ex had moved away and that that the curt proceedings were issued by him or his reps - are the hearings in your local court? If not, you can ask that they be moved to your nearest court (proceedings usually take place in the court covering the area where the child lives)

  • marky27
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25 Mar 10 #194217 by marky27
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Hi TBagpus,

From what I can gather he moved back to our area when he married his new partner.

I did speak and meet for a coffee with ex as I was distraught and couldn't understand what he had done or why.

He said he never lived or married the mother of his child but he never doubted that he was the father. The grandparents initally had the child and then a few months later it was agreeded that my ex should, He admitted that he never wanted to look after her full time and that they did not have a close relationship and that it ruined his future plans. He admitted he was not suited to being a full time parent and it was the grand parents that raised the concerns of neglect to the social services, as she was aggressive and dirty and always hungary, he refutes this, but I think he was lying as he looked very guilty when he told me and dropped his head.
he then said that his new wife had a child but her child lives her father agreeded between them as she has no coping skills and so insecure that my ex can now not work as his wife wont let him! he has to stay at home to make her feel better, turns out she is a recovering addict! been in rehab 3 times.
So i'm guessing that what I was told by social worker that the neglect is prob true.
The only advise she gave me was to seek legal representation asap, but I am having finacial difficulties in doing this!
She left me the duty officer details should I ever need to ring!

The court is in our juristriction.
Thanks so much for your reply much appreciated x

  • rachelcefai
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25 Mar 10 #194283 by rachelcefai
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Hi we have just been through a similar experience my partners two boys and their 4 step siblings were all put on a child protection plan due to neglect. We initally were not allowed to read reports on the other children. However when it came to the court case we were granted permission to read the social services reports and minutes of meetings on all the children as it was vital to the residencey case in general and the judge requested to see them all for the case so they were in the witness bundle.

Hope this helps.

  • marky27
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30 Mar 10 #195235 by marky27
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Hi rachel thanks for sharing your experiances.

I hope they reveal something to me I haven't heard a word regarding the social report, they requested it on the 3rd March but I guess it could take a few weeks.
I hope to be able to get to the bottom of it as I don't know what or who to beleive, do you think the courts allow direct or unsupervised contact if they have been involved in a protection plan? I find the whole thing shocking, I would be worried sick if contact was unsupervised!

  • Mummymoo
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06 May 10 #202604 by Mummymoo
Reply from Mummymoo

What a pickle! I'm not surprised you're shocked.

My case is completely different but I self rep in court after running out of funds for my solicitor. I have had to learn as I go but I now feel more confident that I can put mine and my daughters points across to the judge.

One thing I thought in your case is that the judge and the other side may not have heard your points. I would suggest you file papers in court before your next hearing

Basically all this means is writing out in full all the bullet points of his contact with you and your D from the start giving a full and frank background to your side of this. You may also want to sum up your concerns and outline your D's feelings on the matter and current state. Is she happy as she was before he came back on the scene? Is she more confused now? etc. You then take these papers to the court with your case number on the top and ask them to be filed with the case papers. You can also copy them to him/his sol if he has one and the social services.

Hope this helps.

Good luck.

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