cafcass / section 7 - what to say or not say

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated on what to say or not to say and avoid like the plague. Are there any "trick" questions that CAFCASS might pose?

Thanks.

may i ask if you are the nrp and what issue is being decided.

in terms of 'trick' questions, yes, I think they did play this game a bit with me (and with the ex if what he says about his side of this process is honest). For example, I was looking to move out of area and questions were asked about whether I thought it reasonable to split up the children and whether or not I would go without them if a judge were to make a decision to award either shared residence to us both in the same area, or sole residency to the ex if I moved. They were horrible questions at the time and I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. However, with a bit of space and hindsight, I do think I was being 'tested' around my plans and motives for moving.

As I am sure many on here will tell you, there is a need to remain child-focused in these situations and avoid the mud slinging. Easier said than done, I know!

Yes, am the NRP ....had regular staying contact and half of all holidays ... 8 y/o son asked to spend more time with me during term time .... mother said no, and stopped all staying contact in holidays ... claiming my son does not want to spend more than 1 night every other week with me .... there is a lot of focus in her response to my statement etc about her (+ partner) being the primary carers etc and more time with me will "confuse" my son and undermine her position as primary carer. Would still like some pointers as to "positive" things to say, or drop into the conversation with CAFCASS .... many thanks.

Basically, the officer will be trying to find out 'what's best for the child' - therefore all arguments you make have to be child centered.

They follow what's called 'the welfare checklist' which I've cut n pasted below:

the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the light of his or her age and understanding);
their physical, emotional and educational needs;
the likely effect on them of any change in his circumstances;
their age, sex, background and any of their characteristics that the court considers relevant;
any harm which they have suffered or are at risk of suffering; and
how capable each of his or her parents, and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his or her needs.

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It seems to me from what you've typed that asking for holiday staying contact is entirely reasonable and the ex has not really provided anything substantive for CAFCASS to investigate. But at a guess I think you can expect questioning over:

- your attititude towards your ex. Expect several questions on this comming at you from different angles.

Any signs of hostility or anger may set off alarm bells. Conversely, not showing any feeling at all would be odd. Possibly the safest course would be to acknowledge some positives about the ex together with sadness and dismay at the direction she has taken. Talk respectfully about your ex, do NOT try and assume a position of superiority by listing how bad she is. What you don’t want is the officer to walk away thinking you are motivated by anger or unresolved conflict.

- what benefit to your son would staying holiday contact give?

Sounds simple but you need to think this though. Keep it child centered. Your son would have a good time, take away happy memories, enhance his self esteem, build his future confidence etc.

Show emotional warmth. Paint a picture in words of how you hope the future will be.

Conversely, express your fears for your son if your application were to fail.

The traps to avoid is saying your application is made to establish fairness, get your rights or balance the power between the parents - all of that will go down like a lead balloon.


Good luck!