After three years plus at court why bother?

Regardless wether the judge gives me all the access I wish with my daughter the fact still remains that if her mother want,s to manipulate her and make my daughter feel guilty for wanting to be with me there,s not a court in the land can stop her from doing so!
My point is there is no consequences for the mother and they would be as well to have a singe out side the court saying after three years of lip service from the Judge you will have a large pile of paper saying that you tried your hardest to be a good Father. Because as long as the mother wants to treat you with contempt then what,s the point. My daughter is still being ripped apart. My daughter has been used as a pawn from before she was born and I,m in no doubt that she will remain to be so. My ex is a bully and the court is her play ground and if someone can tell me different then I would love to be proved wrong. What powers do the courts really have?

Hi
I agree 100%, WHEN are the people in the system going to wake up?
You don't need any qualifications whatsoever to apply common sense!!
EQUALITY OF THE SEXES YOU MUST BE JOKING!!

martin mclardy wrote:

Regardless wether the judge gives me all the access I wish with my daughter the fact still remains that if her mother want,s to manipulate her and make my daughter feel guilty for wanting to be with me there,s not a court in the land can stop her from doing so!
My point is there is no consequences for the mother and they would be as well to have a singe out side the court saying after three years of lip service from the Judge you will have a large pile of paper saying that you tried your hardest to be a good Father. Because as long as the mother wants to treat you with contempt then what,s the point. My daughter is still being ripped apart. My daughter has been used as a pawn from before she was born and I,m in no doubt that she will remain to be so. My ex is a bully and the court is her play ground and if someone can tell me different then I would love to be proved wrong. What powers do the courts really have?

Hi Martin,
Yes you're right of course and even now after I have spent over 3yrs in courts gaining all the orders possible my ex is still bitter and twisted and will look for every opportunity to twart contact and constantly tries to mess with our childs mind.
The law may not be able to counter that but by god I am.
My daughter gets more love from me in an hour than she recieves from her mother in a month, and that's the way to go.
No matter what her mother does or says my daughter knows who cares more for her than anyone, her dad, that's who.
All her mother is really doing is building a situation where in the future my daughter may well turn against her.
Kids are not as naive as we sometime think and can see that one parent is doing something wrong when they try to turn their minds.

My daughter often says that her mum is silly if she thinks she can turn her against me.
She has even said that she pretends to go along with her mother for fear of angering her but inside she knows she will always love her dad to bits.

I understand that some children can be alienated by lies and bribes but most understand what's really happening and it only serves to mess their little minds up.
It is my opinion that what you put into a child you get out of them as an adult.
It should be legaly recognised as child abuse but unfortunately it can be so hard to prove that the powers that be prefer to wear blinkers instead of dealing with it properly.

As for an answer to your thread title

"After three years plus at court why bother?"

Remember the day your little daughter was born?
The lump in the throat?
The eyes welling up with pride?
Did you hold her little hands when she took her first steps?, laugh with amazement when she uttered her first word?

When you look at pictures of her growing from a baby to a little girl do you get a strange feeling of love and warmth?
If so then there's a few good enough reasons to bother, for three years or twenty three years.
NEVER give up on her,
She will repay you with a love you can never find elsewhere.

Martin,

i understand your frustrations enormously. i too have been fighting to see my daughter for the past 18 months. everything my ex can do to thwart contact she will. unfortunately there are people out there who use their children to hurt people (mums or dads) but it is also hard to prove. i'm currently seeing a phsycologist along with my daughter and her mother and i get the feeling the phsycologist doesn't believe that my little girl is being manipulated into thinking i'm a bad person. it's frustrating as i have never done anything to warrant this. i'm allowed to see my daughter for the 1st time in 18 months in a couple of weeks which will be supervised but already her mum is saying that there's a strong possibilty that my daughter will not want to show up for this contact as she is scared of me...... this isn't the little girl i knew 18 months ago....this is a little girl who is scared of upsetting her mum. it's her mum who doesn't wnat her to see me and she is going along with what her mum wants....not what she wants.

it's such a frustrating and painful situation to be in but you've got to be strong and battle to the very end. as Tom quite rightly points out.....think of all the special memories you have. no one can take them away from you...write them all down....put them in an envelope and make sure your daughter gets it when she's ready.

just try and make surethat your daughter knows she safe and loved when with you. that way no amount of lies and nasty stories will turn her against you.

good luck